A Court of Mist and Fury

Chapter 1

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PART ONE

THE HOUSE OF BEASTS

CHAPTER

1

I vomited into the toilet, hugging the cool sides, trying to contain the sounds of my retching.

Moonlight leaked into the massive marble bathing room, providing the only illumination as I was

quietly, thoroughly sick.

Tamlin hadn’t stirred as I’d jolted awake. And when I hadn’t been able to tell the darkness of my

chamber from the endless night of Amarantha’s dungeons, when the cold sweat coating me felt like

the blood of those faeries, I’d hurtled for the bathing room.

I’d been here for fifteen minutes now, waiting for the retching to subside, for the lingering tremors to

spread apart and fade, like ripples in a pool.

Panting, I braced myself over the bowl, counting each breath.

Only a nightmare. One of many, asleep and waking, that haunted me these days.

It had been three months since Under the Mountain. Three months of adjusting to my immortal

body, to a world struggling to piece itself together after Amarantha had fractured it apart.

I focused on my breathing—in through my nose, out through my mouth. Over and over.

When it seemed like I was done heaving, I eased from the toilet—but didn’t go far. Just to the

adjacent wall, near the cracked window, where I could see the night sky, where the breeze could

caress my sticky face. I leaned my head against the wall, flattening my hands against the chill

marble floor. Real.

This was real. I had survived; I’d made it out. novelbin

Unless it was a dream—just a fever-dream in Amarantha’s dungeons, and I’d awaken back in that

cell, and—

I curled my knees to my chest. Real. Real.

I mouthed the words.

I kept mouthing them until I could loosen my grip on my legs and lift my head. Pain splintered

through my hands—

I’d somehow curled them into fists so tight my nails were close to puncturing my skin.

Immortal strength—more a curse than a gift. I’d dented and folded every piece of silverware I’d

touched for three days upon returning here, had tripped over my longer, faster legs so often that Alis

had removed any irreplaceable valuables from my rooms (she’d been particularly grumpy about me

knocking over a table with an eight-hundred-year-old vase), and had shattered not one, not two, but

five glass doors merely by accidentally closing them too hard.

Sighing through my nose, I unfolded my fingers.

My right hand was plain, smooth. Perfectly Fae.

I tilted my left hand over, the whorls of dark ink coating my fingers, my wrist, my forearm all the way

to the elbow, soaking up the darkness of the room. The eye etched into the center of my palm

seemed to watch me, calm and cunning as a cat, its slitted pupil wider than it’d been earlier that

day. As if it adjusted to the light, as any ordinary eye would.

I scowled at it.

At whoever might be watching through that tattoo.

I hadn’t heard from Rhys in the three months I’d been here. Not a whisper. I hadn’t dared ask

Tamlin, or Lucien, or anyone—lest it’d somehow summon the High Lord of the Night Court,

somehow remind him of the fool’s bargain I’d struck Under the Mountain: one week with him every

month in exchange for his saving me from the brink of death.

> But even if Rhys had miraculously forgotten, I never could. Nor could Tamlin, Lucien, or anyone

else. Not with the tattoo.

Even if Rhys, at the end … even if he hadn’t been exactly an enemy.

To Tamlin, yes. To every other court out there, yes. So few went over the borders of the Night Court

and lived to tell. No one really knew what existed in the northernmost part of Prythian.

Mountains and darkness and stars and death.

But I hadn’t felt like Rhysand’s enemy the last time I’d spoken to him, in the hours after Amarantha’s

defeat. I’d told no one about that meeting, what he’d said to me, what I’d confessed to him.

Be glad of your human heart, Feyre. Pity those who don’t feel anything at all.

I squeezed my fingers into a fist, blocking out that eye, the tattoo. I uncoiled to my feet, and flushed

the toilet before padding to the sink to rinse out my mouth, then wash my face.

I wished I felt nothing.

I wished my human heart had been changed with the rest of me, made into immortal marble.

Instead of the shredded bit of blackness that it now was, leaking its ichor into me.

Tamlin remained asleep as I crept back into my darkened bedroom, his naked body sprawled

across the mattress. For a moment, I just admired the powerful muscles of his back, so lovingly

traced by the moonlight, his golden hair, mussed with sleep and the fingers I’d run through it while

we made love earlier.

For him, I had done this—for him, I’d gladly wrecked myself and my immortal soul.

And now I had eternity to live with it.

I continued to the bed, each step heavier, harder. The sheets were now cool and dry, and I slipped

in, curling my back to him, wrapping my arms around myself. His breathing was deep—even. But

with my Fae ears … sometimes I wondered if I heard his breath catch, only for a heartbeat. I never

had the nerve to ask if he was awake.

He never woke when the nightmares dragged me from sleep; never woke when I vomited my guts

up night after night. If he knew or heard, he said nothing about it.

I knew similar dreams chased him from his slumber as often as I fled from mine. The first time it had

happened, I’d awoken—tried to speak to him. But he’d shaken off my touch, his skin clammy, and

had shifted into that beast of fur and claws and horns and fangs. He’d spent the rest of the night

sprawled across the foot of the bed, monitoring the door, the wall of windows.

He’d since spent many nights like that.

Curled in the bed, I pulled the blanket higher, craving its warmth against the chill night. It had

become our unspoken agreement—not to let Amarantha win by acknowledging that she still

tormented us in our dreams and waking hours.

It was easier to not have to explain, anyway. To not have to tell him that though I’d freed him, saved

his people and all of Prythian from Amarantha … I’d broken myself apart.

And I didn’t think even eternity would be long enough to fix me.

CHAPTER

2

“I want to go.”

“No.”

I crossed my arms, tucking my tattooed hand under my right bicep, and spread my feet slightly

further apart on the dirt floor of the stables. “It’s been three months. Nothing’s happened, and the

village isn’t even five miles—”

“No.” The midmorning sun streaming through the stable doors burnished Tamlin’s golden hair as he

finished buckling the bandolier of daggers across his chest. His face—ruggedly handsome, exactly

as I’d dreamed it during those long months he’d worn a mask—was set, his lips a thin line.

Behind him, already atop his dapple-gray horse, along with three other Fae lord-sentries, Lucien

silently shook his head in warning, his metal eye narrowing. Don’t push him, he seemed to say.

But as Tamlin strode toward where his black stallion had already been saddled, I gritted my teeth

and stormed after him. “The village needs all the help it can get.”

“And we’re still hunting down Amarantha’s beasts,” he said, mounting his horse in one fluid motion.

Sometimes, I wondered if the horses were just to maintain an appearance of civility—of normalcy.

To pretend that he couldn’t run faster than them, didn’t live with one foot in the forest. His green

eyes were like chips of ice as the stallion started into a walk. “I don’t have the sentries to spare to

escort you.”

I lunged for the bridle. “I don’t need an escort.” My grip tightened on the leather as I tugged the

horse to a stop, and the golden ring on my finger—along with the square-cut emerald glittering atop

it—flashed in the sun.

It had been two months since Tamlin had proposed—two months of enduring presentations about

flowers and clothes and seating arrangements and food. I’d had a small reprieve a week ago,

thanks to the Winter Solstice, though I’d traded contemplating lace and silk for selecting evergreen

wreaths and garlands. But at least it had been a break.

Three days of feasting and drinking and exchanging small presents, culminating in a long, rather

odious ceremony atop the foothills on the longest night to escort us from one year to another as the

sun died and was born anew. Or something like that. Celebrating a winter holiday in a place that

was permanently entrenched in spring hadn’t done much to improve my general lack of festive

cheer.

I hadn’t particularly listened to the explanations of its origins—and the Fae themselves debated

whether it had emerged from the Winter Court or Day Court. Both now claimed it as their holiest

holiday. All I really knew was that I’d had to endure two ceremonies: one at sunset to begin that

endless night of presents and dancing and drinking in honor of the old sun’s death; and one at the

following dawn, bleary-eyed and feet aching, to welcome the sun’s rebirth.

It was bad enough that I’d been required to stand before the gathered courtiers and lesser faeries

while Tamlin made his many toasts and salutes. Mentioning that my birthday had also fallen on that

longest night of the year was a fact I’d conveniently forgotten to tell anyone. I’d received enough

presents, anyway—and would no doubt receive many, many more on my wedding day. I had little

use for so many things.

Now, only two weeks stood between me and the ceremony. If I didn’t get out of the manor, if I didn’t

have a day to do something other than spend Tamlin’s money and be groveled to—

“Please. The recovery efforts are so slow. I could hunt for the villagers, get them food—”

“It’s not safe,” Tamlin said, again nudging his stallion into a walk. The horse’s coat shone like a dark

mirror, even in the shade of the stables. “Especially not for you.”

He’d said that every time we had this argument; every time I begged him to let me go to the nearby

village of High Fae to help rebuild what Amarantha had burned years ago.

I followed him into the bright, cloudless day beyond the stables, the grasses coating the nearby

foothills undulating in the soft breeze. “People want to come back, they want a place to live—”

“Those same people see you as a blessing—a marker of stability. If something happened to you …

” He cut himself off as he halted his horse at the edge of the dirt path that would take him toward the

eastern woods, Lucien now waiting a few yards down it. “There’s no point in rebuilding anything if

Amarantha’s creatures tear through the lands and destroy it again.”

“The wards are up—”

“Some slipped in before the wards were repaired. Lucien hunted down five naga yesterday.”

I whipped my head toward Lucien, who winced. He hadn’t told me that at dinner last night. He’d lied

when I’d asked him why he was limping. My stomach turned over—not just at the lie, but … naga.

Sometimes I dreamed of their blood showering me as I killed them, of their leering serpentine faces

while they tried to fillet me in the woods.

Tamlin said softly, “I can’t do what I need to if I’m worrying about whether you’re safe.”

“Of course I’ll be safe.” As a High Fae, with my strength and speed, I’d stand a good chance of

getting away if something happened.

“Please—please just do thi

s for me,” Tamlin said, stroking his stallion’s thick neck as the beast nickered with impatience. The

others had already moved their horses into easy canters, the first of them nearly within the shade of

the woods. Tamlin jerked his chin toward the alabaster estate looming behind me. “I’m sure there

are things to help with around the house. Or you could paint. Try out that new set I gave for you for

Winter Solstice.”

There was nothing but wedding planning waiting for me in the house, since Alis refused to let me lift

a finger to do anything. Not because of who I was to Tamlin, what I was about to become to Tamlin,

but … because of what I’d done for her, for her boys, for Prythian. All the servants were the same;

some still cried with gratitude when they passed me in the halls. And as for painting …

“Fine,” I breathed. I made myself look him in the eye, made myself smile. “Be careful,” I said, and

meant it. The thought of him going out there, hunting the monsters that had once served Amarantha

…

“I love you,” Tamlin said quietly.

I nodded, murmuring it back as he trotted to where Lucien still waited, the emissary now frowning

slightly. I didn’t watch them go.

I took my time retreating through the hedges of the gardens, the spring birds chirping merrily, gravel

crunching under my flimsy shoes.

I hated the bright dresses that had become my daily uniform, but didn’t have the heart to tell Tamlin

—not when he’d bought so many, not when he looked so happy to see me wear them. Not when his

words weren’t far from the truth. The day I put on my pants and tunics, the day I strapped weapons

to myself like fine jewelry, it would send a message far and clear across the lands. So I wore the

gowns, and let Alis arrange my hair—if only so it would buy these people a measure of peace and

comfort.

At least Tamlin didn’t object to the dagger I kept at my side, hanging from a jeweled belt. Lucien had

gifted both to me—the dagger during the months before Amarantha, the belt in the weeks after her

downfall, when I’d carried the dagger, along with many others, everywhere I went. You might as well

look good if you’re going to arm yourself to the teeth, he’d said.

But even if stability reigned for a hundred years, I doubted I’d ever awaken one morning and not put

on the knife.

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