After It Happened

Chapter 8: 7

Kelechi's pov.

One thing I've learnt to do in the 4 years I've been away is to embrace the darkness and become one

with it. You try to fight it and it slowly kills you until it ends up winning.

I remember the day my dad left us. We expected it, but the tiny sliver of hope we had became our

enemy. It shattered us; it killed me. I had just lost two of the most important people in my life within a

week. I remember how the darkness called me every second and I would try to fight it by putting up a

cheerful facade. I had to be strong for my mother.

My mom cried for months; I never shed a tear. I tried to be the boy I was before he left, but after

sometime I realized the boy was gone. That part of my life was gone forever. I had just been fighting a

lost battle.

Giving up to the darkness was relieving. I basked in its cold emptiness. I made a lot of bad choices in

the past 4 years and I don't really regret them. I only regret how my mom watched me slowly kill

myself. It killed her too; I saw it in her eyes everyday. She didn't hate me, she couldn't. But she tried

hard everyday to understand and accept me, but she failed every single time.

I didn't tell her about the demons I battled every day, every minute they judged me, every second I was

misunderstood and condemned. I couldn't let her know that I wasn't as strong as I proved to be, but

she found out when I hit rock bottom. I regret the worst decision I've ever made because I realized I

was selfish, but I also don't because that's the reason my mom is happy right now. My almost

destruction brought her revival.

My mom has gotten her cure. I see it in her eyes. Even I, in the past four years, haven't seen my mom

smile the way she does when she sees him. I'll admit I'm jealous, but I'm no monster to deny my mom

of her only chance at happiness. I know I'm a jerk most times, but I feel it's better that way. I don't care

that my step-dad looks at me like he wants to beat the hell out of me sometimes or that my annoying

stepsister is always complaining about everything I do.

When I wore the ridiculous white, red and black uniform on my first day in the new school, I was eager

for new beginnings. Maybe my life could get a little bit brighter and I won't feel like so cold and empty.

What I never expected was seeing her. My past. The life I thought and wish I had forgotten, but

apparently I remember every single detail. Olanna with her bright smile, her big heart, her beautiful novelbin

eyes.

Her favorite colour was purple, because it made her feel like royalty. She was always royalty with her

grace and beauty. She hated nuts; she loved chocolates. She despised eating breakfast and she'd

always be forced to do so. She loved dancing in the rain and singing although her voice was horrible.

Every detail I thought I had forgotten were coming to me with full force; she was always in my head

after all.

When I look into her eyes, I know I really lost her like I lost myself. That naive, hyperactive girl was

gone. My thoughts were confirmed when she walked up to me and opened her mouth.

"Hey, I'm Denise, Camille's best friend. You must be her stepbrother. Your face looks really familiar,

though I can't remember where I know you from."

She was obviously lying. I couldn't be forgotten that easily, but her words still hurt. I quickly mask my

emotions and decide to play her game.

"I'm Kelechi. Nice to meet you."

I quickly walk away because being with her was too suffocating. I couldn't face her yet, but we couldn't

ignore each other forever.

At 10, I fell for this girl's bright warm eyes. Maybe I'm not over her; maybe I never was. However I know

I'll be quick to fall for those eyes that can understand me. Those eyes that mirror mine - my own

emptiness.