Broken Bond

Chapter 29

29

CALLUM

My pulse races as I walk into the Norbury packhouse, my gaze greedily sweeping over the interior. There’s nobody in sight. The sound of approaching footsteps yanks my attention to the hallway off the kitchen, but the dark eyes that meet mine aren’t the ones I’m seeking. Chase emerges, his hulking form swallowing up the view of the hall behind him.

I lift my chin in greeting, my eyes gravitating toward the opposite hallway that houses the guest rooms.

“She’s not here,” Chase provides, knowing exactly who I’m looking for, and my shoulders sag as a pang of disappointment stabs in my gut.

Days have passed since our run-in at the cabin, and again, so much was left unsaid. That seems to be the theme every time Nessa and I see one another lately. I’m always left memories makes my pulse go linger in the doorway. I never got the chance. to tell Alpha Vaughn just how much those meetings meant to me. I wish I had, but none of us could have anticipated that he’d be taken from us so soon, least of all the son who now takes his seat on the opposite side of the desk.

Chase beckons me inside with a flick of his head, my movements jerky as I step into the room and take the seat across from him. It’s strange seeing Chase in his father’s chair; my childhood friend now technically my superior. I suppose he always had rank in the pack as the alpha’s son, but I’ve never

really felt the effect of that rank until right now.

“You probably know what this is about,’

Chase drawls, leaning back in his chair and crossing an ankle over his knee.

His relaxed stance puts me at ease and I blow out a breath I didn’t even realize I was holding, sinking back in my own chair. “No clue, actually. Thought we already covered the whole Miles thing.”

Though I haven’t been back to the packhouse since beating the crap out of Miles in the kitchen, I’ve seen Chase several times over the last week, the first of which was later that day. Miles had already filled him in on the reason I jumped him, and Chase totally understood where I was coming from, even going so far as to apologize for throwing me out after the fight before he got all the facts. While he has to take a neutral stance as Alpha, I’m pretty sure he would’ve done the same had he been in my shoes. He alluded to as much.

“You guys work things out?” Chase asks, arching a brow.

I shake my head. Truthfully, I’ve been avoiding Miles because I’m still so pissed off that I’m liable to rip the guy apart if I come across him. It wasn’t enough for him to move in on Nessa after I left, he just had to drive an even bigger wedge between us upon my return. Fuckin’ insecure prick.

Chase heaves a sigh. “C’mon, man. We don’t let shit like this linger.”

“No?” I challenge. “What if he pulled that crap with Vienna?”

The muscle in his jaw ticks. “He wouldn’t have had the chance,” Chase growls. “I knew what I wanted and I claimed my mate.”

While he doesn’t outright say it, I pick up on his stinging insinuation. I’m the one who left. I’m the one who gave someone else an opportunity to move in on my girl because I didn’t claim her when I had the chance.

“That’s not why I asked you to come over, though,” Chase breathes, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the edge of the desk. He laces his fingers together, leveling me with a weighty stare. “I want to offer you a position as an enforcer for the pack.”

My jaw goes slack. This is definitely not what I was expecting when he called me to come over today- and while I should be fucking ecstatic, I can’t ignore the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Alpha Vaughn was grooming me to be an enforcer. I’m sure Chase knows that. What he doesn’t know, though, is the secret that his father was protecting for me. The one that my stepdad has been holding over my head since Vaughn passed, threatening to out me to Chase if I don’t toe the line and further his own agenda.

Chase looks to me expectantly, a grin pulling at the corner of his lips, but it falls when I shake my head. novelbin

“I don’t know, man,” I sigh, scrubbing a hand over my face, fucking hating that I can’t just jump at the opportunity and accept his offer.

Chase scowls, clearly taken aback by my hesitation. “Why the hell not? You were practically born to be an enforcer. My dad thought so.” He narrows his eyes on me, studying my blank expression like he’ll find the answer hidden there. “I thought you wanted this?”

My hands curl into fists on my lap. I do want it, more than he knows, but if I take it, Troy will throw a fit. He’ll use what he knows to sabotage me and clear the way for his own son.

“There are things you don’t know about me, Chase,” I grit out.

He rolls his eyes, waving a hand. “Bullshit. I’ve known you my entire fucking life.”

I shake my head. “But you don’t know everything.”

Chase squints like he’s trying to see beneath my blank mask again, leaning over the top of the desk. “What’s this really about?”

I blow out a breath, unfurling my fists and staring at my palms.

I should tell him.

It’s the only way to get out from under Fuckface’s thumb, and the only way to escape the shadow that has been hanging over me since Alpha Vaughn died. He deserves to know, both as my alpha and as my friend. Chase is like a brother to me. I trust him more than anyone. Shouldn’t I be able to trust him with this?

He’ll never look at me the same way again once he knows. Then again, that’s my own cross to bear; I can’t take back what I’ve done. And once I tell him, there’s no going back from that, either. What if he takes action where his father didn’t?

No. Chase wouldn’t do that. He knows me; understands me more than most.

I have to tell him.

I drag in a deep breath, steeling my resolve. Deciding to finally own up to my deepest, darkest secret, and hoping that things won’t change between us as a result.

My lips move, and the voice that comes out doesn’t even sound like my own. “I’m a killer.” My gaze snaps up to meet his. “I’ve killed before.”

“Yeah, so have I,” Chase scoffs, brushing off my admission with the wave of a hand. “So has everyone who fought in the war against the shadow pack. We did what we had to do.”

“Before that,” I grumble, resting my elbows on my knees and burying my face in my hands. I don’t even know how to get the words out. I haven’t talked about it since that night. “Remember the party up at the lodge for the fifth anniversary of the grand opening?”

Chase snorts. “Barely. We all got fuckin’ blitzed that night after stealing those bottles of whiskey from the storage room.”

I nod slowly, the memories flooding back now that I’ve given life to them with my words. They’re still so vivid. I remember laughing at my friends as they tried to dance, tripping over their own feet and bumping into people. I remember the heavy scent of perfume stinging my nostrils as a woman slid onto the barstool beside mine, leaning over to rest her hand on my forearm, her blue eyes twinkling with seduction.

“There was a woman,” I force out through clenched teeth. “A human who was staying at the lodge. We started talking, and she invited me up to her room. I knew it was off limits for us to fraternize with the tourists,

but I was seventeen, and she was hot. I was thinking with my dick.”

I suck in a breath, feeling the weight of Chase’s stare on me, though I’m unable to meet his eyes. Afraid I’ll lose my nerve if I do. “I went up with her, and one thing led to another. We started fucking, and… she liked it rough. She asked me to choke her.”

I still remember how my hands looked wrapped around her delicate neck, the surge of power I felt when I applied pressure. The harder I squeezed, the more her eyes clouded with lust. She liked it, and fuck, I did too. I was so lost in the moment that I don’t even know exactly when it happened- just that I suddenly realized how still her body was beneath mine. So, so still.

“I lost control,” I murmur, staring blankly at my hands. The same hands that took a life that night. “I must’ve been squeezing her throat too hard… I killed her.” I see a flash in my mind of her lying on the bed, eyes closed and body motionless. “And then I didn’t know what to do, I fucking panicked. I put my clothes on and ran out of that room, but

Troy was in the hallway. He’d seen me leaving the party with her. He went in there to see what happened and I just fucking took off. When he found me, he brought me here, to your dad.”

I glance around the office, choking on the memories of that night. Troy delivered me to Alpha Vaughn and demanded that I be dealt with. He said I was a danger to the pack and insisted on exile. I still don’t know why

Alpha Vaughn took pity on me. Why rather than punishing me, he helped to cover it

“Alpha Vaughn and Beta Rob looked into who she was,” I mutter. “She was a call girl from Boulder. No family, no real ties. They got rid of the body and shredded any record of her being at the lodge that night. Then your dad sat me down and he… I don’t know why, but he decided to give me another chance,” I say, leaving out the grittier details of our conversation. I came clean to

Vaughn about my home life growing up; the source of my deep-seated rage. He’s the only person I’ve ever told.

“Troy was pissed,” I continue. “He didn’t want a killer living under his roof, so your dad set me up with my apartment. Started training me to be an enforcer, helping me work through my aggression in a healthy way.” I swallow hard, staring down at my lap. “After he died, though, Troy started holding it over my head, threatening to tell you, which is why I’m telling you now. So you have all the facts before deciding if you really want someone like me as an enforcer for the pack, and so you can hear it from me instead of him.” I heave a sigh, rubbing my temples with my fingertips. “I probably should’ve told you sooner, I just didn’t know how.”

I finally look up to meet Chase’s eyes. He slumps back in his chair, watching me carefully as he digests my admission. It’s clear from his reaction that he didn’t know.

Vaughn kept my secret, even from his own son.

The room falls completely quiet. My skin crawls. The deafening silence is too much, grating on my nerves and making my heart pound faster. I can’t stand the quiet.

After what feels like an eternity, Chase blows out a breath, swiping a hand over his chin and staring at me with an expression that I can’t quite read. “That’s why you left, isn’t it?”

My mouth drops open, but no sound comes out. I expected him to ask questions about the murder or the cover-up, but not this. I didn’t expect him to be so perceptive.

“You thought you’d lose control with Nessa like you did with that woman,” he mumbles to himself as he puts the pieces together. Thought you’d hurt her.”

I snap my mouth closed and nod once.

Chase pushes back in his chair, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Well fuck me. This is… shit, this is heavy. I had no fucking idea. I mean I knew something happened last year when you started doing side projects for my dad, and we all wondered why you weren’t into random hookups like the rest of us, but … fuck.”

“Yeah.” I watch him process everything, itchy with anticipation for the other shoe to drop. For him to give me that look and rescind his offer.

He doesn’t, though. When his eyes return to mine, they’re brimming with newfound understanding. “I’m glad you told me, but it doesn’t change my mind,” he says. “You’re my brother. I trust you. I still want you to be an enforcer, and if your stepdad thinks he can hold that over you, he can go get fucked.”

Chase’s words of reassurance lift a weight from my shoulders that I hadn’t even realized I’d been carrying. I’m flooded with relief, respect, and love for my friend- my brother, not by blood, but by choice.

He shakes his head again, sighing as he leans forward and pins me with a stare. ” You’ve gotta tell her, man.”

My heart leaps to my throat. “I can’t.”

“Then you’ll never get her back.”

“I don’t deserve her anyways,” I grumble.

“Oh stop with the self-sabotaging bullshit already,” Chase groans, throwing his head back in exasperation. “Do you really think she’s better off with Miles? You just gonna sit back and let him have your girl, your fucking mate? You two were literally made for each other.”

The thought of Miles with Nessa but it’s not like I can control who she winds up with. I set her free. “She’s safer with him,” I point out.

Chase scowls. “That’s a fucking cop-out. You can’t honestly tell me you think you’d hurt that girl. I saw how you were with her. You loved her, didn’t you? Probably still do.”

I don’t deny it.

“Stop getting in your own fucking way, Cal. Own up to your shit. Tell her the real reason you left. If not to get her back, then at least so she’ll stop thinking that you leaving was her fault somehow. She doesn’t deserve to carry that around.”

“She’d never take me back if she knew,” I growl. “And besides, it’s too late.”

He arches a brow. “Is it?”

I stare back at him, my heart pounding at a chaotic rhythm. “The bond’s gone.”

“So?” he challenges. “You were into each other before the bond was even a factor. Obviously losing that didn’t take away how you feel about each other.”

I chew on the inside of my cheek, mulling over his words. I know he’s right, but it just feels hopeless given everything that’s transpired between us. And haven’t I already put Nessa through enough?

“Dude, what do you have to lose at this point?” Chase shrugs. “If she doesn’t take you back, then fine, you’re no worse off than you are now. But what if there’s a chance?

Fucking trust yourself to keep her safe and let yourself be happy for once.”

“Maybe,” I grumble, shifting my weight on the chair. I need space to think. This room suddenly feels claustrophobic, like the walls are closing in.

Sensing my discomfort, Chase waves me off. “Go on, I can see how agitated your wolf is. Go for a run or something and think about it. And let me know about the enforcer thing once you’ve sorted your shit out with your girl.”

I grunt in assent, pushing up from the chair. Chase rises to his feet at the same time, rounding the desk and approaching me, pulling me in. He claps me on the back, lending his support, and though I’m decidedly not a hugger, I appreciate the gesture and return it.

“I’ve got your back, man,” Chase murmurs, pulling away. “Always.”

My throat clogs with emotion. I appreciate it more than he knows.

And maybe he’s right. I came clean with him, and my world didn’t implode like I expected it to. Maybe it’s time to come clean with her, too. Maybe it’s the only way