Not Your Mate Anymore

Chapter 1 Hole in my heart

I had been in bed for a little over a week. I don't want to see anyone and I can't keep any of my food down. I don't leave my room because I hate the looks of pity I get from the pack members and my family.

I hate how weak I have become. Just one more year and my dreams would come true but the moon Goddess likes to play games.

I am mated to Percy Woods. Have been for 2 years now but I can't have him. My mate is to marry Ralyn, my childhood babysitter.

Thinking back to the day of the announcement...

Alpha had called a pack meeting to brief us on the rogue problems we have been trying to resolve. My father was stabbed with silver during a rogue raid a week before the pack meeting so he couldn't make it and had no idea what would transpire at the meeting when we asked him what it was about..

Walking in I catch Percy's eye but he looks away, guilt ridden which had me question my brother since he's a beta in training and spends some time with Percy. He said he knew nothing and I left it at that but what was weird was seeing Ralyn on the podium next to Percy.

Ralyn is an omega, although our packs don't abuse them or make them suffer, they are born into poverty which means they usually have to work to survive in a pack as they aren't born with some wealth. They are usually the pack cooks, cleaners and so forth. They have to work from a young age to be able to contribute to the pack and provide for themselves. It is expected that each individual contribute the pack a sum of money yearly so we can afford food and supplies. I do not know the amount that is to be paid as my father handles the family's contributions and yes, that is ignorant on my part. The higher you are in ranking, the higher the amount in contributions. The older you get, the more you have to pay. Most omegas work multiple jobs to get by but my family paid Ralyn enough not to seek more employment. I know they did this because she was a child, we could afford it but also

because she was an orphan. Most omegas start work at the age of 12. It is sad and my family paid Ralyn handsomely because of the slave labor that was enforced. When it comes to wolves, we take social rankings very seriously. Alpha, beta, gamma and so on. The 3 first families were of opulent wealth and status. Respected and feared. You were born popular. Packs celebrate your birth, your first shift, literally any milestone, the pack deemed fit to celebrate because of the social hierarchy. So everyone was puzzled to see an omega on the podium next to our soon to be alpha.

Alpha Charley silenced the murmurs and hushed whispers as he was about to start the briefing.

“6 months ago we had rogues breach our lands for the first time in 25 years. They would come to our land and just kill one warrior at a time.” Alpha Charley said.

Clearly this was a message but we couldn't understand what they wanted and why they would just come onto packland and kill one warrior and leave their scent behind. Making it easy to sniff them out and capture them. Although they would kill themselves after giving vague answers or riddles that nobody shared.

See, rogues are known for their bloodlust, they are 80 percent more wolf so they don't abide by any rules. They don't plan their raids and they are animalistic, not intelligent enough to escape human detection from trained and skillful warriors. They aren't smart enough.

They breach packs to steal land, rape the women and kill all the men. The children are turned to slaves, especially alpha children as it is seen as a joke to turn a prince into an omega kind, in werewolf eyes, that is a big insult. How the moon goddess allows them to continue this kind of living baffles me.

The rogue briefing took no longer than 5min, with the alpha just telling us they have reached a solution and we will no longer have our security breached at the borders as the rogues have been dealt with. The thing about being an alpha or a person of status is that people don't question you at all.

Nobody had the inkling to ask how or why we were having rogues in our land in the first place if we are known as the 3rd most feared pack.

The first two were under Lycan ruling and we all knew even the rogues to never go against the Lycans. In our pack we called them the first men. As they are the direct descendants of the moon. They have all the gifts of the moon and added strength.

I wasn't paying much attention to the briefing seeing as I was not allowed to train as a warrior, no girl or woman can. That's our sexist alpha. I was sulking, sue me. I was seated next to my sister Josey and my brother Cj (Christopher junior). My stepmom who I call mom is at the hospital as she is one of the

pack doctors who are attending to the surviving warriors of the rogue raid.

Cj was the soon to be beta as he is from a full blooded beta family, his mom who is my stepmom is of beta blood and so is my father.

See my father met my mother at 16, they were both 16 at the time. The thing is, my mother was a hybrid. Half wolf, half human but she was from this pack, Blue Woods Pack. She was born with all werewolf traits except the ability to shift. She had our gift of sight, perfect hearing, inhuman strength and the ability to talk to her wolf. My mothers wolf could surface through the eyes alone. My grandfather was the first ever wolf in our pack to find a human mate. It wasn't unheard of but it wasn't very common. My grandfather loved my nana but my grandmother being human was shunned upon the pack to the point where she was treated worse than an omega which is not so bad although many would say it was because she was mated by a beta blooded male. Which is kind of like royalty after the alpha family. The shewolves weren't very welcoming to my nana with her slow healing, she couldn't hide her bruises from my grandfather and so my grandfather and grandmother decided to move to human land to allow my mother to live out her life as a human. When my grandmother passed away, my grandfather moved back to Blue Woods and my mother stayed in human territory to finish school.

So during school break, she would visit my grandfather and that's how she met my dad.

Almost 16 years ago, my parents met, they found out they were mates and completed the mating ritual upon meeting as that's the way it has always been done. That's where I come in as i was conceived that night. My mother went back to school without the knowledge of being pregnant and had me in human territory 6months later. She came back as my grandfather insisted I be raised in werewolf territory as I was a full blooded wolf and they could not risk exposing our secret to the humans. Full blood pups tend to show signs from birth. Every pup is different but as the years progress, the wolf signs come out and as a kid, you have no control over the wolf side.

For me, when I was born, I had purple irises with golden specks in them and my wolf eyes were pitch black. I had no iris. Just having these purple eyes was enough for my grandfather to demand I stay with him.

Back to my mom and dad...

My father could not complete the marking process with my mother as she could not turn into her wolf. To mark your mate, you both have to be turned into your wolves and mark each other and mate as wolves first and then as humans so the two wolves can connect and become one. Share their power and mind.

So in werewolf eyes, they were not seen as true mates but my father stayed with my mother and helped raise me even when my mother went back to school. When she came back, she came back with Josey and this time she couldn't leave us.

It is hard for humans to carry a wolf child, yes my mother was part wolf but also part human. Just like my grandmother, the pregnancies had taken a toll on her and she was constantly sick.

Werewolves don't get sickly. Our hospitals are packed with influenza medication just in case a human walks into our premises for quick relief and we can perform surgeries for things like car accidents. Human complicated illnesses is beyond werewolves and my mother had to go to human territory to get the proper treatment she needed. She never came back.

I was 3 and Josey was 2 when a letter from the hospital stated that she had passed away and they had to come collect her ashes. My grandmother was from an affluent family with vast amounts of land and money. Way more money than anyone can do with. When my nan died, she left her fortune to my mother and now my mother left her fortune to my sister and I.

In human territory, the eldest becomes the sole owner of the properties and has to tend to them so my father had to do it on my behalf as I was only a child when my mother passed. When I was 10, my grandfather decided to be the one to move to our lakeside manor, which was close to werewolf territory.

The land belonged to the world's most feared beast, Alpha Deacon Forrest, my father's best friend. Alpha Deacon comes from a long line of full blooded Lycans. He had a son named Maximus from one of his many mistresses who was the only one blessed by the moon to give the alpha a son.

It believed that if werewolves mate when it rains, that is the moon goddess blessing the creation of a child. A child can be conceived without the rain but it is considered a huge blessing if it rains before the male wolf's seed coats the womb of it's mate.

When my father and mother conceived me, it rained. When they conceived my sister, it rained. When Cj was conceived it did not rain but my grandfather says it is because my father and Remi aren't mates and the moon goddess does not recognize them as one, however, she knew my father needed a successor to keep the beta position in the family and that is why he was brought into this world.

When my mother died,

My father was broken and as a child I didn't understand why my father was distant for some time but he knew he had to take care of us so he didn't have enough time to grief for my mother. Along the way, he found comfort in Remi's bed. That sounds mean but the proof is sitting right next to me called Cj.

Don't get me wrong, I love my stepmom and Cj. Remi is good for dad and Cj is an amazing brother who forgets he's actually the youngest with him trying to protect us all the time.

I was so lost in my thought until I heard the alpha calling Percy to stand beside him. Any mention of my mates name is bound to get my attention.

"We have even better knews. In 3 months from now, on Percy's birthday, we will be having a mating ceremony. My son and your soon to be alpha will be mating with his chosen mate, Ralyn Smit and you are all to be there in attendance to share the in the festivities” Charley said.

At that moment, all eyes were on me. I looked at my siblings because I thought I heard wrong but the looks on their faces said I heard right. I looked at our Luna Natalie and she mouthed "I'm sorry". It was at that moment, I wanted the ground to open up into a giant hole and swallow me up. I looked at Percy and he was looking back at me.

His chosen mate. He chose Ralyn over me. He CHOSE her. He said he would wait but he didn't. Could he not wait 5 more months until my 16th birthday? Was I asking for too much to want to mate with him at the age I was ready to?

My wolf was angry. She wanted blood but I was stunned. The feelings didn't rush in until I got home but right there in the meeting hall, I was in shock.

My sister Josey was talking to me but I couldn't even respond. I looked up at Percy again and I saw him kiss Ralyn. It was a peck but he was my mate. My wolf was possessive and she saw red. All she wanted to do was rip Ralyn to shreds but I couldn't move. I looked at Ralyn and she smiled at me. The bitch smiled.

She was smiling at me when she knew that Percy was my mate. Everybody knew Percy was my mate.

When I was 13, I got to meet my wolf. I was young yes, but I'm a special wolf. When the clock strikes midnight on your birthday, you have your first shift. It is painful but we all look forward to it.

Usually the alpha has a shift party for the new wolf but my father told me I was special, that people were not ready to see my wolf so I had my first shift at our lakeside manor in human territory so only my family could see and meet my wolf. She was white as snow and my father told me white wolves were rare but because I was born with purple irises, he had an inkling that I would be blessed by the moon goddess.

My sister is also a white wolf but she was born with green eyes.

A few days after my shift, I came back home. When I walked into the pack house, Percy walked up to me and growled "MINE".

Everyone saw what happened. That's why everyone was looking at me right now.

My brother noticed my irises disappear and black orbs took over and he knew he had to get me out of there. I didn't fight him. He carried me bridal style back home and chained me in the basement until I got my wolf in line. It took two days to finally calm her down and in those two days, Percy has not come to see me.

When I went up to my room, he had not left a text or voicemail. He left me. We weren't even an item yet but he had left me. My heart was beyond broken. He hasn't even tried to contact me to explain things. He just left me, out in the cold. Empty promises hanging in the air. My mate belonged to someone else and there was nothing I could do about it.

It's been a week. I had locked myself in my room. I have not eaten, I have not bathed, I am still in the same clothes, same sheets. I was thankful we had our own family home as I would not have survived living in the pack house.

Just as T was thinking back to the time in the meeting hall, sleep overtook me and I was engulfed into darkness.

I was in a field, an open field and it was sunny. I felt the same, sad, lethargic. I welcomed that feeling even though I knew I was dreaming and I know I'm in my bed. I felt a presence behind me, a strong aura that had me spin around so fast to hold onto it. I was drawn to that power, it was calling to me. When I turned around I saw my mother looking back at me, smiling sadly at me like she knew what was happening to my heart.

"Hello my little moon” mother called me. That was her nickname for me. She called me that, I honestly don't recall her ever using my name at all.

"Mother? How is this possible? Where am I? You look the same" I said

"Oh my little moon. You are dreaming my baby girl. Your subconscious is seeking comfort and called out to me. You are very strong to conjure up a place like this.” Mother said. Looking at me in awe.

"So I'm dreaming of my deceased mother" I scoffed..

"How can you give me comfort when this is not even real? When you are not even really with me? How can I find comfort in that?” I cried out. I was angry that it wasn't my mate that comforted me. It was my mother's ghost.

"Lam here in spirit. As are you my little moon. Do you not know the power that runs through your veins? Has your wolf not taught you anything?” My mother asked.

"Athena is a violent wolf. She just wants blood. I don't let her out as much as I'd like and even then, daddy said I can't have people see my wolf as they have never seen a white wolf" I pointed out.

"Mama, I know of my wolf's power. Athena has yet to show off but father says when I shift into my wolf, even alphas will fear me. He said my wolf's aura was too much to handle at just 13 and so I've stayed hidden. He trains me and Josey in private as it is forbidden for women to become warriors or a high ranking position without a high ranking male. We are strong but in hiding.” I say sadly.

It pains me having to hide Athena. She is a spirited wolf and she bows to no one. She is respectful but will not tolerate disrespect. Besides all of that, I love running in wolf form and letting Athena take the reigns. I love running in the woods to hunt. See, I don't hunt rabbits. I could catch one in my human form.

Maximus and I enjoy hunting horned animals to keep trophies.

In my pack you can't shift parts of your body. You are either human or you shift into your wolf. Even with marking, that is why we mark in our wolf form because it is impossible to mark in human form for my pack members except for me and Josey.

We are able to shift partially. If we need our claws, our incisors and so on. We can half shift like a lycan which is a mystery to us. According to my grandfather, we don't have lycan blood.

"My little moon. It is time to show Athena to the world. Let her guide you, heal you. Don't waste away in your room as if you have anything to be ashamed of. Your mate has not rejected you. He is still your mate, rightfully so. Although I'd suggest you stay away from him.” She said

"How do I stay away from him when all I want to do is be with him? I'm not even angry at him. I love him still and it weakens me" I cried.

"YOU ARE NOT WEAK!" My mother lashed out. "You come from a sacred bloodline. You are a strong force and it is time you made your mark. Get up from your bed and end this pity party. I did not give birth to you so you could waste it away on some boy who is less than you!” She was enraged.

In all my memories my mother never had such a commanding voice. She was always calm, always the voice of reason and my father was the hot head.

"WAKE UP NOW! DON'T WASTE ANOTHER SECOND!! SABRINA KIMBERLEY TRENT, WAKE UP NOW!"

I jolted up out of bed almost knocking my sister down.

"Whoa there Sab, do you not see what I'm wearing? I can't ruin this dress!”

"I'm sorry Josie. I h.. Ihad a nightmare"

"I know. We could all feel the your power in the kitchen. The alpha and Percy are on their way to have some words with dad. Pack business so I was told to tell you to tone it down.” Josey said

"Athena's power came out?" I asked novelbin

"It was more than that. It felt like you were not alone. You were even mumbling in your sleep. Crying too.” Josey couldn't help but hug me.

"I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Father is furious and Remi has been trying to calm him down but he's not having it. He berated the young alpha on mates and how he was disrespecting the moon goddess by rejecting you and having a chosen mate when his true mate is alive and aware” Josey said

"Daddy raised us to believe mates are sacred. It doesn't surprise me Josey’ I pointed out.

"Sab, you need to get out of bed. Percy can not see you like this. He hurt you, I get it but fight the bond big sis. Go in that closet of yours and get dressed. You need to show him what he's missing" Josey said.

"Remi is waiting outside to have another talk with you. To remind you that you can find love again. Please get out of bed"

After the pack meeting when I was chained in the basement, Remi would visit me. Unchain me and feed me.

Silver doesn't burn me or Josey like normal wolves. If we don't let our wolves surface, the silver burns the skin but we heal pretty quickly. It hurts the skin but doesn't do anymore than that. See when silver seeps into a wolf, they lose conciousness and it takes them a while to heal If the silver enters their bloodstream and that's why my dad was in hospital for weeks.

Josey and I are the exception. Just like lycans, silver weakens us but not to an extent where we are powerless. When my brother chained me, Athena didn't want to fight him or the rest of my family. She

wanted Ralyn but she knew my family would fight me to make sure I don't do anything stupid and I didn't want to hurt any of them.

Remi told me a story about her true mate.

I grew up thinking he died but he was very much alive and was an alpha of the crescent red moon pack. Our neighboring pack. We all knew Alpha

Thomas. He was a man that kept to himself. He met Remi at the mating ball when they were both 17. Alpha Thomas's father hosted a mating ball because he was dying and wanted his only son to find a mate so he can take over as pack alpha.

Thomas took Remi to his father and the father announced then that he will be stepping down now that Thomas was alpha and he had a Luna. As soon as the welcoming ceremony for the new alpha took place, he rejected Remi and told her he only had eyes for Sheila, a shewolf seer, that he had no intention in mating with her as he was saving himself for Sheila. Remi was crushed and she ran back home and told her parents who let her back in and then she met my dad and we are now a happy family.

In 2 months, Thomas's father died and with him, his mother, 4 of his sisters and his chosen mate Sheila. It is believed Sheila was practicing dark magic and she tried killing Thomas's family only to kill herself too.

Thomas was so enraged that he didn't want to see or hear of a seer ever again. He banished all of them and ordered to have the ones practicing dark magic be burnt at the stake. To this day, he remains mateless, without an heir but he runs a well respected pack.

"You and Remi are right but I can't help how I feel. When you meet your mate my little sister, you'll understand. It hurts to even breath knowing he's not breathing for me. It hurts knowing he chose her over me. The girl the moon goddess chose for him. It hurts knowing he is saving himself for her and the pack will call her luna when that title is rightfully mine. It shouldn't hurt but it hurts that he chose an omega over me. It hurts that he chose a girl I considered a sister as his mate. It hurts wondering to myself how all of this happened" I started to cry.

"It hurts to think they fell in love when he made a promise to me saying he'd wait for me. It hurts knowing she might carry his pups when that was a gift bestowed to me by the moon. I'm hurting Josey. I don't know how to stop it" I sobbed.

I didn't notice Remi come in. I didn't even feel it when my father carried me into my bathroom. I didn't even feel it when Josey undressed me, with the help of Remi, put in the tub and washed me. I didn't even feel it when Remi washed my hair and combed the knots out. I didn't feel it when they helped each other shave my legs and carry me out. I remember falling out of my trance when they sat me down on my chair facing the mirror. I looked at my sister and mom before I looked at myself through the mirror.

The rejected mate. Humiliated. Percy felt like I didn't even deserve an explanation. He ghosted me. He even posted him and Ralyn on social media announcing their relationship. I was snapped out of my self pity party by Remi who held 2 outfits for me to choose from. I looked at Josey for help and she shook her head no.

They wanted me to dress nicely and pretent I didn't care that my mate was about to marry another woman.

They did my make up, dressed me and even applied my Carolina Herrera good girl perfume. Josey styled my hair and when I looked at myself in the mirror, I did not recognize myself. Yes I usually dress nicely, thanks to my mother's never ending fortune, of which the pack knows little about, Josey and I are able to buy the world if we wanted.

"We are only going to greet them and run out. I'll say we are going to visit our grandfather for the day and will be back in a few days time." Josey said

"Chris has already applied for your exit permits with the elders and they understand your predicament. We think it's best you go away while your father investigates why Percy is doing this and why his father would just allow sacred law to be disregarded in this manner" Remi said as she pulls me in for a hug.

I don't even have words to say, I just nod my head at them and zone out again. I knew I had to get myself together before they arrived but I was so stuck in my own pool of pity that I did not even hear the doorbell ring. I didn't even hear when my dad opened the door to greet the alpha and his son. I didn't hear when Josey tried to jolt me out of my state. What pulled me out of my thoughts was that intoxicating smell of vanilla mixed with the forest. I looked up to Remi, alarmed, eyes about to pop out and I finally spoke.

"Remi, he's here and I don't trust myself. My wolf wants to run to Percy and mark him to make sure he stays ours. I'm in a battle and I think Athena is going to win" I say in panic..

Remi pulls me in for another hug, hoping that her motherly embrace will calm me down but it is not working. I love her, I do. She's my mother, she raised me but when Percy's scent is the only one that's supposed to calm me down, how could she?

And in my fight with Athena I hear my biological mother scream in my head to get over myself and pull it together. She spoke loudly to the point where I pulled away from Remi to hold the sides of my head and kneel in pain. It took all of 10 seconds but it felt like that pain took forever.

It helped though.

I composed myself to go meet the man that stole my heart and locked it away. I that moment, I knew I had to accept my mothers command and get this over with. I can cry at my grandfather's house.

For now I had to face my mate but my mothers command had Athena forget about the bond. Athena was ready to leave Percy at the door and not to look back.

I turned to look at Remi and Josey just as Cj walked in behind them.

"Father is calling for all of us to come and greet the Alpha family" Cj said looking at me as he emphasized the word all. I just simply nodded my head and shocked them all when I was the first to walk out of my room to face my mate.