SAGE

Chapter 6

Sage Miller

Hell isn't where the devil lies but sometimes hell is the house you're are afraid to be alone in.

I have a fear that almost told loosing Eve and that is being left alone in this house.

My demons are a few feets away from me, demons I can't out run.

My eyes kept glancing at the basement door like she'd gonna walk out any minute.

Maybe burying her in the house I live in wasn't the smartest choice but it was the only choice I had. It

guaranteed that she's never be found.

But every time I was alone in this house I felt like she'll dig herself out and walk out of that basement.

But that's impossible right? How could she when she's buried under concrete. Hard concrete.

I tried keeping up the conversation listening to her as she explained her worries. I couldn't even

sympathize with her because I hate the woman they were looking for even if she was my mother.

"I haven't seen her since last August or something." I lied poorly but the woman barely noticed my lack

of patience or my jittery movements.

"This is so unlike her. She hasn't been to work too. It's been months. I've checked all her normal spots

and she hasn't been to any of them in months. The last time I spoke to her she was coming here."

She was pacing. I realised that even if Clara was horrible, she still had people that cared and loved her.

People as horrible as her but they did care about her.

But that didn't suddenly make me feel guilty for what I did. I would do it again if it meant getting her out

of our lives for good.

"She never made it I guess. I haven't seen her." I lied again playing with nails.

She immediately snap out of whatever spell she's been under and my eyes widen, my heart pounded

even harder than I thought was possible.

I stepped back afraid that she has caught on. I was paranoid.

"I'm going. If she comes back tell her I'm looking for her." She declares and pull herself together. She

walks out the door not telling me her name but she didn't need to.

I already knew her. I've seen her too many times right here whenever Clara was here.

Hearing that I calmed down and my heart beat returned to normal. I then released the breath I've been

holding.

Even though that was a close one but it's over and I couldn't let the fear that's been lingering around

me get to me now.

Clara is dead and no one will ever find her. Only two people know where she is buried and Styles

would never tell a soul.

I don't know why I trust him after he betrayed my sister but I do. I have this feeling that him and I are

very much alike.

I try to avoid my paranoia most of the time but I'm afraid of someone finding out what I did. It's not

possible right? I try to tell myself that but I still fear it.

The whole morning I tried shaking the feeling but that woman shook in me. People are gonna ask

question, this is just the beginning and I'm scared I'll give myself away.

I showered and got dressed. I drove down the familiar road. The relief I felt driving down the road was

unlimited.

I parked next to the floral shop and got out the car.

"Mrs Bell." I grinned at the old lady.

"Sage." She beamed at me. "I haven't seen you in so long, what happened?"

Mrs Bell has own this floral shop for as long as I've known her. I use to come here one every three

months but over time the visits got fewer and fewer that I only come here on days like this or on dad's

death anniversary.

"Nothing Mrs Bell. Just been busy." I explained vague.

"I'm glad you're finally visiting him. I thought you've forgotten him." She frowned for a moment.

"I'll never forget him." I told her and she gave me a sympathetic smile.

"She still refuse to visit." It was more of a statement than a question but I nodded nonetheless.

"She'll come around." She said and I nodded sadly again.

"The usual right?" She asked to lighten the mood.

"Yes Mrs Bell." I replied again.

"Coming right up." She said and we made small talk while she was preparing the flowers.

"She graduated last week you know." I told Mrs Bell.

"Really." Her face lit up at that.

"Yes. She was even valedictorian." I gloat at her. "She's smart."

"I'm so happy. I knew she'd do it. Now you also have to graduate." She said and I smiled.

"You'll have to wait two years for that." I told her and left out the part of me not sure if I want or will

graduate.

She handed me the bouquet of white and pink carnations and one sunflower.

I bid Mrs Bell farewell.

"See you around Mrs Bell." I did a little wave.

"Be good Sage." She waved too. "Don't be a stranger."

I smiled and drove away. I like Mrs Bell, her persona has a way of calming me. She's a calming person

herself, always down to earth.

I was much more calm than I was ten minutes ago. My nerves has settled down.

I walk up the road I've memorized too well over the years. My eyes travel over each stone as I mentally

read the names until I found the one I was looking for.

Mike Peter Miller

A loving father and a loving husband.

I heaved a heavy sigh letting the trouble of this morning got through a sigh.

My tense shoulders relax a little and everything seems to be blown away by the morning breeze.

I knelt down and placed the new flowers on the pot. I smiled as memories of dad and Eve played in my

head like a movie.

"Hey dad." I grinned. "I know what you're gonna say. 'Why haven't you come see me'. I'm sorry it took

me a while and I have no excuse for that. I should've come sooner."

I paused for a while letting the breeze blow my hair. I used to tell dad every little thing. From a young

age he'd give me advice I still follow to this day.

"This past year haven't been at easy. So many bad things happened but good things happened too. A

lot of things changed." I started to explain. "Eve is still angry I guess, she always has been that's why

she hasn't been coming around."

For the longest time I sit there just staring at space, completely zoned out. I played the memories of the

past year in my mind. A lot has happened and a lot has changed.

"I just miss you sometimes. You always had a way of making things better. You always knew the right

thing to say and everything suddenly became better. I try to be like you and fill your shoes in her life but

it's not the same. I'm not you and I'll never be. I may look like you but I'm not you. We found out about

her mother. I want to be angry at you for hiding it but I'm glad Clara wasn't her mother."

It would be too fucked up if Clara was her mother. But it made sense too, no mother would treat her

child like Clara treated Eve. I'm sure she would've sold her sooner or later.

I layed back like I always do when I visit him. I closed my eyes.

"She's trying though. To except everything but she's stubborn. She angry at you for giving her Clara as

a mother but I'll try and make her visit you soon. I'm not sure how that will help. She hasn't visited you

since Aunt Lauren died."novelbin

I inhaled and exhaled.

"Clara is dead." I said it out loud for the first time. I held my breath till I couldn't breathe anymore.

I don't know why I did that. Maybe it's because I expected something to happen. Thunder or a storm or

something. But nothing happened.

The cool morning breeze continued blowing calmly.

After all, he did love Clara. I hate to admit it but they loved each other.

The silence was loud and the soft breeze caressing my skin softly was burning.

I don't know what would've been better. The storm or the silence.

"I didn't mean to or maybe I did." I frown at my thought. "I mean she was horrible and hurt us a lot. I

pushed her a little too hard." I admitted.

I replayed the events in my head.

"She had lost a lot of blood. She wouldn't have survived. I just ended her misery. I had to do it you

know."

I tried to explain then realised that it didn't matter why I did it. I killed her. I snapped her neck and

finished her off.

"I'm sorry." I whispered into the thin air.

For the longest time I sit there in peace feeling a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders for finally

saying it out loud.

"Wren is great." I found myself saying it. "She's great to me and to Eve but most important to Eve. She

loves her a lot and she looks so much like Eve that I loved her from the start. She's got a big heart like

her."

I continued to gush over Wren to dad. I guess I saw what he saw on her. She's a wonderful person.

"Eve finally had a boyfriend." I said but then frowned. "Though it didn't last. He cheated on her but he

got what he deserved. I punched him, very hard."

I explained everything to dad. From Alora to Kate to Sebastian to Connor. I guess I'm not afraid to tell

him because he can't judge me. He's dead.

"She gained a lot of people these past year. She has four brothers now. A big brother, Zac. I don't know

how I feel about that. I know Evernly always wanted a big brother and I could never be that for her. I

tried to fill in those shoes though."

I've always been insecure that Zac will replace me. I'm used to Eve seeking comfort in me that I'm

afraid that I won't be her pillar anymore.

"I know I should tell her how I feel but I will sound like a bitch, besides I want her to be free to get to

know her new family. I don't want to fucking hold her back." I trailed off realising my mistake. "I know, I

know. Language."

I continued to tell him about the past year and I leave out the part where I joined a gang. I don't know

why I did that when he could never judge me.

Maybe I still didn't want to disappoint him. According to Aunt Lauren, dad was the all American boy. He

was good in football, excelled on her studies and always helped people.

"Overall dad, it's been a good year." I rethink my statement. "For the most part at least."

"I guess Eve is miserable without Harry and I don't know what I should do. I don't know if I should wait

until she forgets about him and heal or maybe I should fix her problem and advice her to get back

together with him. Something I think that would be best you know."

I paused.

"I really don't know." I whispered. "All I know is that she's miserable without him even though she tries

so hard no to show it."

I took out my phone and realised that I've been here, talking for four hours. It's past midday.

"I'll visit soon dad." I stood up. "Now to give Aunt Lauren this sunflower."

I started to walk away thinking about how much my Aunt loved sunflowers.

I easily found her grave. I placed the flower on the flower pot. I talked to her for ten minutes or so.

I drove back to my house. My heart feeling a bit lighter, my shoulders a little lighter and so was my

mood. My nerves has settled.

I threw myself on top of the sofa, emotionally drained. It's been a long day.

The next couple of days go by easily with me dealing merch for the gang. I made time to spend with

Eve. I hanged out with Sebastian and sometimes Connor.

I haven't seen Alora in a while and I haven't talked to her either.

Soon a week is gone by and Summer is fully here. You can even feel it in the air.

It's a Sunday and I was about to enjoy the day alone with Netflix until a loud bang in my door

interrupted my tranquility.

I frowned and groaned. I thought I told anyone who might pop up at my house not to do that.

Bang, bang.

I stood up ready to kicked someone's ass. I opened the door and Sebastian literally falls on me.

I panicked and pulled him inside and looking everywhere for danger. I dragged him to my sofa and

cringed at the sight blood.

I grabbed my metal baseball next to my door and flung it over my shoulder.

"What the fuck happened?" I asked even though I had made the conclusion that it's an attack from the

rival gang. The WESTIES. It wouldn't be the first.

"Connor." He grunted and breathed out the name.

"Connor?" I repeated what he told me very confused. Is he working with the rival gang.

So much was going through my head.

"He found me kissing his mother."