THE AWAKENING

Chapter-18-

Koris found Cassandra hours later, wandering the wild, walled garden behind the house. The grounds were immense, giving the semblance of freedom, but in fact, she felt just as caged as when she was trapped in the cave with Cristophe or under lock and key with Ulster. She plucked wild lavender and brought it to her nose, inhaling deeply when Koris startled her.

She dropped the lavender and immediately went to embrace him but Koris reluctantly took a step away from her. She stared reproachfully at Koris with wounded feelings. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“It is not my place to touch you any longer,” he answered wretchedly. “Even only in comfort. You are the Alpha’s woman and the Prophesied One. If you seek comfort you must find it with Tieran.”

At the mention of Tieran’s name, Cassandra turned away in irritation. “He’s the last person I would seek comfort from and the last person who would offer it,” she snapped.

The Prophecy was ruining her life. And now she couldn’t have friends? She returned to Koris, softening when she saw how lashing out had hurt him.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m not quite myself. Well, that’s an understatement actually.” She walked to the small cement bench and sat down with an unhappy sigh. “I know you didn’t know me before the whole Phase thing started but I was a totally different person. I was happy, funny, studious, basically, a regular college student with dreams and aspirations. Now I’m just a magical womb and that’s not sitting so well on my heart.”

“You are so much more than that,” he disagreed.

“Yeah? Tell that to the stupid Prophesy everyone seems to be so wrapped up in. What if it’s all a bunch of hooey? What if everything you guys are basing your actions on is nothing but a bunch of old wives’ tales meant to keep control of a wild pack? I mean, myths and legends of every culture are grounded in

some simple desire for order and control, to explain the mysteries of life so that confusion and chaos don’t rule. Mythology A, freshman year,” she quipped with a snort. “It’s basic human nature.”

“We aren’t human and neither are you,” he reminded her.

“Right. I guess that’s an important distinction,” she said with a sullen frown. “Still trying to wrap my head around that.”

Koris followed at a respectable distance until Cassandra patted the seat beside her with a pleading expression. “Certainly there are no rules about friends sitting beside each other, right? No touching, I promise.”

He seemed uncertain but couldn’t refuse. He sat gingerly beside her.

Even though he wasn’t as large as Tieran, his body still ate up most of the bench and caused Cassandra to smile with genuine warmth at his obvious discomfort yet desire to make her happy.

“Why couldn’t it have been you or Jandin?” she asked with a plaintive whine. “Either of you would’ve been fabulous. At least you guys like me. He looks at me like I’m an inherited disease that he has to tolerate.”

She didn’t need to clarify. Koris knew what she was referring to. “It would’ve been our honor to be your champion,” Koris murmured. “I would that things were different for you from the start. But we cannot live in the past, only in the present. Tieran is a good Alpha. He will protect you with his life as he would anyone in his clan.”

“He hates me,” she whispered. Koris struggled to refute her claim without being dishonest but she saved him the trouble, saying, “Please don’t bother. The Phase, as lousy as it is, has given me certain insights. He is with me because he’s expected to be, not because he wanted to be. It seems no one wants me for me,” she added with a dose of self-pity.

“Tieran is a difficult man to understand. He is very private. I would not presume to know his feelings, however,” Koris began cautiously, trying to find the right words. “Don’t give up on him. The Gods would not have put you in his path if it were not meant to be.”

“Koris, I don’t have your faith. I was raised in a normal household where I had chores and homework, not tales of legends and prophesies. I don’t know if I believe in fate or destiny. I’m overwhelmed with everything that has happened and frankly, I just want to go home.”

“You are home,” Koris reminded her gently. She shook her head vehemently and Koris sighed. “You may not believe in fate or destiny but it believes in you. We all believe in you.”

“Why?”

Koris smiled and unfolded himself from the tiny bench with a slight grunt, causing her to allow a small smile. “Because you are special. When you stop fighting it, you will understand. Right now, the Prophesied Child is likely growing in your womb. When your maternal instincts kick in, you will know what it’s like to believe in something you’ve never known.”

She held back the caustic remark that hovered on her tongue. Koris was trying to help; there was no sense in being rude.

But she didn’t feel better.

In fact, she felt worse. What if she didn’t have maternal instincts? What if she was a terrible mother?

“Thanks,” she murmured, looking away. “I appreciate your kindness. It’s more than Tieran has shown me.”

“Give it time. He is grieving, too,” he said.

“For what?” she asked, looking up sharply. He must’ve realized he’d revealed too much and tightened his lips. “Don’t leave me in the dark, Koris,” she begged, needing a little insight or she’d go insane. “He mentioned something similar but I didn’t understand.”

Koris looked anxiously around the garden as if worried about being overheard.

Cassandra held her breath, desperate to know more about the man who would father her child, whether she liked it or not. Finally, he leaned down to share in a low voice, “It is not for me to say but Tieran was forced to give up something dear to him when it became apparent that the Prophesied One had come into her Breeding Time. When we discovered you…Tieran had to forsake the woman he loved.”

Cassandra gasped and drew back, shocked to her toes. The image of the woman she’d glimpsed flashed in her mind and she fought a growl of possession that came from nowhere.

She recovered without Koris noticing, yet added with dismay, “He had a girlfriend?”

“Shhhh,” Koris said sharply, glancing to see if they were still alone. “Yes. Of sorts. It was ill-fated from the start but Tieran would not be swayed from the chase.”

Cassandra swallowed, not knowing what to say. It was difficult to reconcile the hard-hearted bastard she knew Tieran to be with the image of a man in love, willing to do whatever it took to be with his woman.

She suffered a twinge of jealousy that he did not feel that way about her. “Who is she? Does she live here at the compound?”

“Her name is Serra. And no, she has left the compound. When news spread that you had been found, she couldn’t face being here with you, knowing that you and Tieran would be together.”

“I’m the reluctant other woman,” Cassandra said softly, still reeling from the information. “I broke them up. No wonder he hates me.”

“You didn’t break them up. They weren’t meant to be and they knew it,” Koris said in a hard tone, surprising her. “It is what it is. As I said before, it is unhealthy to dwell in the past as that way lies madness; focus on the future.”

She nodded faintly. “Thank you, Koris,” she said, knowing he’d taken a great risk in sharing this information with her. Koris dipped his head in a subtle bow and left the garden, leaving Cassandra with a lot more questions.

Did it change things knowing that Tieran had given up someone dear to him for the sake of the Prophecy? Cassandra weighed the information against her hurt and bruised feelings and found that it did.

Not that it gave him a pass on his craptastic attitude toward her, but it did help her to understand his animosity. So they both had reasons to hate their roles in this little forced tale.

Where did that leave them now? Her hand drifted to her stomach. What if she had conceived his child? A trickle of warmth filled her insides at the thought but she immediately thrust it away.

She didn’t trust her feelings right now. Everything was too raw, too immediate to truly know how she felt about anything…even the possibility of being pregnant.

A different thought occurred to her that chased away the previous warmth.

What if she were already pregnant…with Ulster’s child? Tears stung her eyes as fear followed. Don’t think about the possibility, a voice warned as she squeezed her eyes shut. If she had to be pregnant… please let it be Tieran’s.novelbin

Oh God…please.

Cassandra rose on shaky limbs, no longer comforted by the garden and suddenly famished.

Again.

Hunger — both sexual and physical — was about the only thing she could count on as constant in her life these days.

Good grief, she sighed and headed for the house.

But just as she reached for the door, her stomach seized and an agonizing pain ripped through her body, twisting her guts with a vise.

“Oh God! Help me!” she screamed as she crumpled to the ground, writhing in pain as she struggled to breathe. She clutched her belly, curled in a ball, moaning as the pain hit a crescendo.

The pain clarified her mind and at the same time blotted out rational thought. In her mind’s eye she saw two tiny heartbeats beating fiercely, pumping blood to two equally tiny bodies as her every resource was routed to serve their needs. The air seized in her lungs as the knowledge pressed down upon her mind.

Noooo! Please God, no!

Two babies. Two different fathers.

Tears of agony mingled with those of dismay and fear but she couldn’t voice the scream trapped in her throat.

Two babies. Two different fathers

“God, help me,” she whispered just before the pain swept her away on a black curtain of oblivion.