The Impact of You

Chapter 14

Avery

Jase is helping me break free from my shell in ways I didn’t think were possible. I need to thank him for last night. After his little dare gave me the shove I needed, I talked to Mitch for over an hour at the small party. And since Jase got pretty drunk, Mitch even drove me home. I had to give myself a little pep talk, convincing myself that Mitch was a safer choice. That despite my growing feelings for Jase, his reputation and whatever’s still going on between him and Stacia means I need to spread my wings a little. Jase and I are just friends and that is for the best.

I exchanged contact info with Mitch and we may be going out next weekend. We’ll see if he calls me.

I dress casually in yoga pants and a fitted long-sleeve tee, throw my hair into a ponytail and set off in search of coffee. I pick up an extra cup for Jase, who’s no doubt hung-over this morning, and begin the twenty-minute walk to his house, just off campus. I sip my coffee, letting the sunlight warm my skin. The leaves are changing, bursting in pretty oranges and shades of gold. I’m struck by the notion that the leaves are evolving just as I am.

I daydream as I walk, imagining it might be possible to move forward once and for all, when the images of that night creep into my psyche. Me, posing topless for the camera, with a seductive open-mouthed smirk, my hands and mouth on a certain part of Brent’s anatomy, making it obvious who I was and not- at-all obvious who he was. It started off as innocent, and I trusted Brent. Completely. Which was dumb. Beyond dumb. He had a reputation when I met him, but I believed he had changed.

It’s exactly why I need to exercise caution with Jase. I need to keep him in the friend zone. His belief in me means everything, but anything more will be simply too dangerous. It’s a pity the warning signs flee my mind at the first sight of him.

After knocking at the front door for several minutes, I decide to try the knob, and finding it unlocked, I let myself in. It’s probably a little forward surprising Jase like this. I know he’s probably still sleeping, but

I’m sure he’ll be happy to see me, so I put it out of my mind and climb the stairs to his room in the attic.

I knock on his bedroom door and wait. Nothing. No sounds from inside. I smile at the thought of him curled up in his big bed. I don’t know if I should just go in or what. I tap again. “Jase?”

I hear him curse and then his heavy footsteps pad across the room. The door opens just a few inches and Jase peeks out at me with bleary eyes. His hair is rumpled and his clothes appear slept in. “Avery?”

“Morning, sunshine. I brought coffee. Can I come in?”

His confused gaze bounces from the cup of coffee I’m holding back to mine. The look in his eyes is pure panic. Something is very wrong and my insides tingle with the anticipation of bad news. Jase makes no move to open the door any further.

“Jase?” I question after a heartbeat.

He rakes a hand thoroughly his unruly hair. “Listen, Whistle…you’re not going to be happy, but I promise you, absolutely nothing happened.”

I storm past him into his room and see Stacia stretched out on the small sofa under the window. She’s just waking up, and dressed only in one of Jase’s T-shirts.

My hands are shaking. I set the coffee down on his dresser so I don’t throw both cups at him. He’s not my boyfriend. We’re not dating, but that doesn’t mean I’m any less pissed that he and Stacia…did whatever they did last night. But I’m the one that left with Mitch last night, what did I expect?

Jase stops before me, his eyes downcast at his feet.

Stacia stands and stretches, the shirt lifting to show her pink lacy panties with her movement.

“Stacia, it’s time for you to go,” Jase says, his voice tight.

She steps into her jeans and tosses her long blond hair over her shoulder. “Chillax, hun, I’ve gotta pee and then I’ll go.” She crosses the room and heads out into the hall.

Once she’s gone, Jase takes my hands in his. “I swear to God nothing happened. She got too drunk to drive home last night and I let her crash on the sofa. I didn’t touch her. I promise you.”

He’s still dressed in his clothes from last night – including his belt. If something did happen between them, why would he have dressed in all his clothes again before going to bed? I don’t know if I should trust him, but I want to.

He’s still holding my limp hands in his. “It’s fine, Jase. You’re free to do whatever…whoever you want.”

“Okay, I know. I just…I want you to know that things really are over between her and me, despite what this looks like. I’m not with anybody right now.”

“Fine,” I say. I don’t know whether to be mad at him, myself, or Stacia. There are so many emotions running through my system – anger, hurt, embarrassment – that I don’t know what to think. For all my supposed caution in getting involved with Jase, I suddenly realize I’ve built up our bond in my head into something it’s not.

Jase pushes his fingers through his thick hair again, cursing himself under his breath. “She took a bunch of shots and begged me to let her stay. All I did was give her a blanket and leave her up here. She was passed out when I came to bed a couple of hours later.”

My hands are still trembling. That news conjures up the image of a drunk Stacia hanging all over him, begging him to take her to bed. I don’t think for a second that she accidently drank too much and needed to stay. She’s much too calculated for that. The urge to hit something is barely contained. “You know she does this on purpose, right?” I ask.

He shrugs. “Probably. She likes to mess things up for me.”

I decide then and there I won’t let Stacia run me off. I’ll stand my ground. If Jase wants me here, I’m staying.

Jase picks up the coffee from the dresser. “You got me coffee?”

I nod.

He pulls me in for a hug. “Thanks, Whistle.”

I stiffen in his arms. One step forward, two steps back.

Stacia chooses that moment to grace us with her presence again. Jase rolls his eyes at her before turning to me. “I’m going to take a quick shower. Wait for me, okay?”

“Sure.”

He grabs a towel and some clothes and leaves me and Stacia alone in his room. Damn, this is awkward.

She makes a production of lacing up her strappy heels and organizing the items in her obnoxiously bright orange purse. “Gosh, I don’t even remember what happened last night.” She chuckles, inspecting herself in her compact mirror. “But I guess that’ll happen when Jase is feeding you shots.” novelbin

I stay quiet, knowing if I open my mouth, it won’t be ladylike. But it takes everything in me, and I repeat a quiet manta in my head. Don’t sink to her level. Don’t sink to her level.

Once Stacia is packed and ready to go, she crosses the room and stops in front of me. “You know he and I are neighbors back home. We practically grew up together. We have a history that can’t be

undone.” She studies me silently for a moment, and getting nothing in response, she chuckles to herself and continues on her way.

God! I want to hit something. Preferably her face. My blood is boiling. I pace Jase’s bedroom, too keyed up to sit down. Maybe all that caffeine was a bad idea. When I pass by his unmade bed, I can’t help but stop and stare at the little wicker trashcan sitting beside the bedside table. If they did have sex last night, that trashcan should contain a condom. I walk closer, my heart pounding and peer down into the wastebasket.

An empty water bottle, a wadded up a receipt from the gas station for a tank of gas and a toy whistle.

No condom wrapper.

A breath escapes my lungs in a whoosh of air, and I sink down onto his bed. It’s this moment I realize I like Jase way more than I have any right to. I’m in way over my head.