The Silent Alpha

Chapter 22: Rivers

***WARNING***

The following chapter contains a scene with self harm and abuse.

Reader discretion is advised, I will place (*) asterisk when the abuse self-harm begins for those of you who wish to Skip.

** ***Zane***

What are you so nervous about? Grayson mutters as we walk over to the main pack house, my legs barely able to drag me to our destination.

We need this training! What use is our gift if we can't use it? I know he's right but that doesn't stop the fear somersaulting in my belly.

My father always said I was weak.

What if my power truly is weak and worthless? Then what? Then we learn to fight like any other f****"g mutt! Grayson growls in annoyance.

Talia and Agnes walk silently behind me, both equally nervous for our first day in our new assignments.

Kota appears to be the only one excited to visit the River Moon wolves.

To keep herself calm, Agnes holds her butterfly in her hand, the beautiful creature crawling along her finger and fluttering its wings.

She had kept it in her room since we arrived in River Moon and it seemed to give her comfort.

I would have to thank Salvador again for Talia fidgets with the sack lunch that I prepared for her this morning, wrinkling the paper bag with her fingers.

To my surprise, she took the lunch willingly and my heart only soared higher when I noticed she was still wearing the gold bracelet I gave her.

I just hope she will still be okay with me when she reads my note today.

Quit worrying.

We were smooth, Grayson grins We finally approach the pack house, Rosalie already waiting for us with her young pup cradled in her arms.

"Come with me Agnes," She smiles warmly at her before turning to Talia and I.

"Aurora is in the entertainment room waiting for you."

Talia and I exchange nervous glances and make our way to the entertainment room where we find Aurora sitting on the floor with her eyes closed, Oliver combing through her hair with tenderness, as if her hair were made of silk.

Evan sits on the couch, watching the two with friendly disgust while Rio sits lazily at his feet.

Oliver leans in close to his mate and kisses her temples, murmuring soothing words in her ears.

The Queen looks completely relaxed in his lap as he begins to gently braid her hair into one long french braid, her breaths slow and steady.

It almost feels wrong to watch such an intimate moment between two loving mates and I feel a pain in my heart.

Would Talia ever trust me enough to let me care for her as the Rio jumps up to greet Kota and the two roll around the floor playfully.

"Please sit," Aurora says, her eyes fluttering open as Oliver ties up the braid.

Kota stops his play for a moment and we bow our heads in reverence to the timid Queen.

"My sister will be here soon for you, Talia.You can wait here while I take Zane to the training grounds.Kota can stay at the daycare or here with Rosalie and Agnes.It's up to you and what you feel most comfortable with."

"Here," Talia replies almost immediately.

"H-here, please." The Queen smiles brilliantly at her as she rises to her feet with Oliver's help.

"Then it shall be so." Oliver grabs his coat and car keys from the coffee table and prepares to take off.

"Be safe," Oliver murmurs as he kisses his Queen on the cheek before he glares at me.

"If you hurt her, I will kill you.Understand?" he threatens, his voice a low growl.

I nod obediently, swallowing the lump in my throat.

Aurora rolls her eyes at her mate and pacifies him with a kiss.

"No you will not," she chuckles.

"You cannot heal on your own," he argues.

"If he hurts you during training-"

"Then I will heal her," a woman's voice calls out from behind us.

"So go huff and puff somewhere else and let my sister train in. We all turn around to the source of the voice and find a small woman identical to Queen Aurora standing by the door.

The only difference between the two appears to be their eyes, with this woman's eyes being silvery grey while Aurora's are a golden honey color.

Aurora wastes no time running towards the woman, embracing her in a tight hug.

"You literally see each other every f*****g day,"

Evan exasperates, Oliver rolling his eyes at the gamma wolf.

The small woman lifts her middle finger up at Evan, Aurora giggling hysterically.

"Talia, Zane.This is my twin, Celina," She says as she steps back from her hug.

"Satan's spawn is more fitting,"

Evan mutters, Celina sticking her tongue out at him. novelbin

"If I'm Satan's spawn, then what are you? His butthole?"

Celina retorts with a bored look on her face, Talia snorting as she tries to hold back her laughter.

"Anyways, where's this Talia chick? I'm running late, so we gotta go."

Talia presents herself and Celina looks her up and down as if assessing her.She then exchanges looks with her sister and sighs.

"Okay, I’m going to say it," she says, stepping closer to Talia, Aurora giving her sister a warning growl.

"What? We’ve worked too day."

Storm clouds swirl in Celina’s silver irises as she scowls and points an accusing finger at Talia.

"Watch your f*****g attitude," she warns.

"I don’t give a f**k about your ex or what you’ve been through because I can guarantee, our girls have gone through far worse.They need someone who won’t flinch away from them or look at them like they’re maggots.They’re broken and they need help.I’m not taking you anywhere until you promise Aurora and I that you will set aside your own feelings and help me take care of these girls."

A calm but stern look washes over Celina’s face as she crosses her arms and waits for a response.

"I promise," Talia nods, never once flinching from the cold tone in Celina’s voice.

Celina stares intently at her as if to catch any hesitation but Talia remains unfazed, as if used to being scrutinized by others.

"I like her," Celina suddenly turns to her sister and smiles at her.

"She’s a b***h like me." Aurora shakes her head disapprovingly at her sister and clears her throat.

"She didn’t mean that."

"No, I most definitely did," her sister shrugs with an innocent smile on her face.

"Now let’s go.We have a long day ahead of us."

She grabs Talia’s hand and before I even blink an eye, the two women vanish into thin air wrapping his arms around my legs.

"Mommy will be back later tonight,"

Aurora reassures, getting down on her knees and speaking in a soothing tone to the little boy.

"In the meantime, you can stay here and play with Rio.Would you like that?" Kota grins and nods.

Aurora instructs Evan to take Kota upstairs to Rosalie's office before the three of us walk to the training grounds.

My hands shake uncontrollably at the thought of using my gifts so I shove them in my pockets, willing myself to calm down.

"Don't worry" Aurora reassures as we arrive to the grounds.

"Today is all about exploring your ability and helping you figure out exactly what you can do."

The entire training grounds is empty, with all of the equipment stored away and all trainers and fighters gone.

"I had the grounds cleared for us to work in peace," she smiles sheepishly as she leads me to a sparing circle.

"I figured you wouldn't want an audience today." She turns to Evan and grins.

"Evan can leave too."

"Not a chance," he replies, sitting down on a bench.

Aurora heaves a heavy sigh and rolls her neck.

"Okay, so let's see what you can do." I remain frozen in place, unsure what to do with myself but Aurora once again offers a reassuring smile.

Her calm voice enters my "Telepathy can be a little scary at first.It’s a lot of voices in your head and they can be...overwhelming."

She says, sitting down and patting the ground in front of her, urging me to do the same.

"How did you know I was a telepath?" I ask as I take a seat before her.

"I can sense your walls," she says, her eyes scanning me thoroughly.

"The only other person I know with walls is my sister and she is also a telepath.The walls help block out the voices and keep out intruders.I can usually make my way into a person's thoughts and their memories without them noticing but it wasn't so easy getting into your head.It was like there was this massive force trying to push me out," she says, miming an unseen force in front of her.

"I got into your thoughts with a little push but you felt me enter your memories ...didn’t you?" I nod, remembering the pinch in my temples when she entered my memories and saw my past.

"Does your wolf help you with your gifts?" she asks.

No, Grayson snarls.

He locked me out for years! It wasn’t until Talia came into the picture that the bastard finally let me through.

Because you didn’t help! I argue.

Because you didn’t trust me! Aurora frowns at us.

"Enough! There's no point in blaming each other.This just means you both need to learn to work together.Let's furrow my brows at her.”

"I thought I already was..."

"No, she chuckles softly."

“I made our connection.I’m inside your head.Now I want you to do the same with me and make anew connection."

"How?" I ask, growing nervous with hurting her as I remember all the failed attempts I had made on Agnes.

She would go into a catatonic state for hours after my attempts of reading her mind on purpose.I couldn't do that to the Queen.

The Queen says nothing for a moment and I fear she has already cut our connection and is now expecting me to make contact but she only smiles at me, holding out her palm.

Out of thin air, a small ball of fire forms inside her palm and she cradles the flame like a fragile flower.

"You have a lot of fears, Zane..." she murmurs.

"And that is very dangerous.Fear and anger make you irrational....they make you lose control."

As if to demonstrate, the flames in her palm grow bigger until they engulf her entire fist.

"You can hurt a lot of people unintentionally by letting your fears get the best of you," She adds, the violet flame growing hotter.

"As you can see, I can manipulate the fire element but it is very difficult to control.My flames are fueled by my emotions and if I let them get the best of me, I can lose control. I stare at the large flame nervously to my fears..." she closes her palm, the flames going out in an instant.

"I became the one who controls the flames.It’s the same principle for you if you ever want to control your gift.You need to learn to let go of your fears and trust in your wolf to guide you."

"I don't know if I can do that.." I mutter.

"You'll never know if you don't give him a chance to show you his worth," She smiles.

"Just like you seek a connection with your mate, Grayson seeks a connection with you." I don’t like him, Grayson mutters.

He's an i**"t.

Aurora frowns at me.

"You will not earn his trust by belittling him, “she says sternly, Grayson rolling his eyes at her.”

"Don’t make him fear more ashamed of himself than he already is, Wolf You know his pain better than anyone." He doesn’t trust me! Grayson snarls .

I watched for years what Dad did to us and did he ever let me in to help? No! He put me in a corner and forced me to watch him suffer! I could feel the hurt in his voice as he growled out his frustration.

"I...didn’t even like myself..." I reply.

"I didn’t think you'd like me either or want to help...so I thought it was better to put you away."

Grayson doesn’t reply, wallowing in his own frustration.

“ I stare at my hands, afraid to look Aurora in the eyes but she suddenly moves closer to me and holds my wrists care or listen," she says quietly.

"But Grayson is your other half and he will never leave your side...no matter how much you hurt him.He is part of your soul." I pull at the mat on the ground before I finally speak to Grayson.

“I'm sorry.I'm sorry I locked you out.I didn’t know what else to do ....I whisper.I’m sorry too, hesighs.I should have fought harder to break through."

“Okay...this is good, " Aurora smiles.

“Now work together to enter my head.I'll put my walls down to make this easier-"

"But how do I enter your mind? " I ask, looking over at Evan who looks bored by our silent staring contest.

"Every time I enter someone’s head on purpose, I hurt them. " Aurora nods as she assesses my concerns before replying.

"Think of thoughts as rivers.

All of them are flowing at different speeds and currents and unfortunately, they are all coming towards you.

You, however, have the power to build dams and slow the rivers down or stop them completely from coming at you.

To enter my mind, all you really have to do is let my thoughts come through.

Build a dam to block the other rivers you hear.

It’s not about forcing your way into my head, it’s about letting the river flow between us.

Once the connection flows between us, you can build little dams and slow down the current of information that's coming at you so that you can. She closes our connection and sits patiently across from me, closing her eyes and giving me her trust.

Okay, wecando this ...I reassure myself, closing my eyes and stepping into the dark abyss of my mind.Just let the voices flow like a river...

Grayson encourages.I slowly let my walls down, both Evan and Aurora’s voices entering my mind at incredible speed.I almost put up the wall again when Grayson’s voice comes through.

Build the dams and slow the rivers down...he reminds me.

I imagine myself physically blocking the voices and they start to slow down until I can understand them.

"Why are they just sitting on the floor with their eyes closed? Are they meditating?" Evan’s thoughts come through.

I build a dam until Evan’s voice fades out, leaving me only with Aurora’s.

"Can you hear me? " I call out, nervous as hell that I may hurt her.

"Yes" she cries.

"You are doing so good! Don’t be afraid.Make your way around if you like.What do you see?"

"Nothing " I mumble, looking around at the empty blackness.

"That's okay, " she says.

"Just listen to the thoughts.Follow the fiver."

pitch black, I suddenly hear a small scream, so faint, I almost don’t hear it.

Follow it, Grayson instructs.I walk into the emptiness where the sound came from until I hear it again, this time louder, sharper, more desperate.

A sudden bright flash blurs my vision and my eyes burst open so that a ray of light beams out of them like a movie projector, small images taking form on the ground in front of me.

Aurora and Evan gather around me and stare at memories that play like a film for us to watch baw It appears to be a memory playing from Aurora’s point of view and we see several kids gathering around her, holding their books and backpacks up like weapons.

They seem to have cornered her at the back of a bus, Aurora cowering on the ground with her arms raised above her head.

Aurora looks up at the bus driver as if begging for help but he does nothing, ignoring the cruelty that is about to take place.

The kids throw the books at her, spitting on her and kicking her until they grow bored and settle back into their seats.

The memory blurs for a moment before coming into focus again.

Aurora remains on the floor, too afraid to move until the bus comes to a halt at a pack, most of the kids eager to get off.

Aurora gathers herself off the floor, limping to the front while wiping the blood off her face.

The bus driver doesn’t even spare her a second glance, snapping at her to hurry up and get off.

memory blurs even further from her tears as she stumbles her way down a road until she reaches a large pack house.

She uses a back entrance and silently limps down to the basement, throwing her tattered backpack on an old cot.She gets down on her knees and shoves her hand under the cot until she finds a small sharp razor.

Blinking away her tears, she waddles over to the bathroom.

My heart sinks to the pit of my stomach as I watch her lock the door with shaking hands.

She covers the mirror with a large towel, her eyes refusing to meet her reflection.

Aurora turns on the cold faucet and holds her wrist over the sink, revealing a sea of scars on her tender flesh.

I want to stop the memory but I can seem to close my eyes as I watch in horror what Aurora does next.

The razor breaks through the skin with ease as Aurora slides it across her wrist, a trail of blood following in its wake.

Blood trickles down her arm into the sink but she only raises the blade again and makes a second cut, throwing her head back in pain… and relief.

Unable to watch any further, I force my eyes shut, tears spilling onto my cheeks.

For a long time, the three of us remain frozen in place, none of us uttering a word about what we just witnessed until Evan breaks the silence, shifting into a large brown wolf with green eyes.

His wolf settles beside his Queen, laying his head on her lap and "It’s alright, Bodhi," she soothes him as he whimpers.

"I survived.I'm okay now."

Bodhi (Evan’s wolf) only whines, his heart breaking for his Luna.

As her gamma, he felt her pain almost as if it were his own and it hurt him to see her so broken at one point.

‘I am so sorry," I say through our connection.

" I didn’t know...I didn’t know that-"

Despite the tears in her eyes, she smiles warmly at me.

"It's not your fault..." she sighs.

"At least now we know that you cannot only see and hear my thoughts and memories, but you can also project them out for others to see.Even I cannot do that.I can still sense a lot of power in you so it’s likely there’s more to your gift.We'll just have to keep practicing."

I am both shocked and relieved that she is not angry with me for exposing such a sensitive memory to hcr gamma and that she is willing to continue our training.

"I think this is a good place to stop for now..."she says, stroking Bodhi’s head.

"We can pick it up again tomorrow when both Evan and I feel...better."

Bodhi rises to his feet, nudging the Queen with his head to get on his back.

Aurora obliges, climbing onto her gamma and the three of us return to the Pack house.