The Space Between You and I

Chapter 1

Using his teeth to pull down on the coffee tube, Henry Hart filled his coffee cup at Mama P’s Coffee Shop with their house coffee and then proceeded over to join his father, Jasper, at a table. The smell of fresh coffee lingered in the air that early February morning. Sounds of hushed conversations filled his ears as he journeyed toward the only father he had ever known, even if he wasn’t blood-related. He was almost to the table when a woman in line at the counter dropped her keys a few feet from him. Stopping, he turned and saw her with a baby on her hip. Moving closer, he bent down and retrieved the keys for her.

Henry rose to his feet and handed her the keys.

“Thank you, sir. It’s sure been one of those mornings!” Adjusting the baby on her left hip, she flashed a friendly smile and took the keys.

“Have a nice day, ma’am.”

Continuing to his father’s table, Henry was greeted with a warm smile. Pulling out a chair, he hung his coat on the back and sat down. A smile grew on his lips and in his heart as his father folded the newspaper he was reading formerly to his arrival. He loved seeing his dad, an occurrence that didn’t happen as often as he had hoped since he moved out of his parents’ house six years ago.

“Hey, boy. It’s good to see you. That weather is a bit bad this morning.” Jasper took a deep drink of his coffee.

“Yeah, I think I heard thirteen degrees on the radio on my drive over.”

“Yep. Hey . . .” His father leaned in slightly across the table with raised eyebrows.

“Your mother and I don’t see much of you unless it’s Christmas. What’s going on with that?”

Taking a drink of his coffee, Henry set his cup down on the table and rubbed the rim lightly with the side of his thumb. He nodded lightly. “Work has been busy, Dad. You know all those new renting houses regulations I told you about a few months back?” His father nodded. “They finally rolled out to the production server and it’s a mess. One of the new testers on our team marked a ton of things as useful when they weren’t. We had to roll the entire update back and slowly release bits and pieces at a time. Lots of cleanup, and that means long hours of work and work.”

Raising a hand, Jasper shook his head. “I don’t know what most of that means, but I believe you, Son. Just give your mom a call occasionally and let her know you care. Would you?”

Henry nodded in agreement. “I can do that.”

Silence fell across their conversation for a few moments. Then his father changed the topic elsewhere.

“Any word on scholarships to get into Bible college?”

He shook his head. “I’m going to have to let that dream go, Dad. If I focus hard at my current job and dedicate it all to the Lord, He will bless that. God will just have to use me where I am.”

“That’s the right mindset to have about it. If it’s God’s will for you to attend Bible school, you will.

“I know.”

“How’s Noelle?”

Henry stifled in his seat. He knew the basic reason of his father’s question. Noelle wasn’t just any girl in Henry’s life but the girl, according to everyone but him. Henry and Noelle had gone to high school together and had been best friends for six years. A year ago, she had started attending the same church as he did, First Baptist. This last year, he had seen her more and more because of it. Their friendship had deepened and tilted back and forth on the fence toward a relationship, according to everyone around them. But Henry didn’t want more than friendship when it came to Noelle. He feared a relationship would only mess up their friendship, and he couldn’t put something so lovely at risk.

Clearing his throat, Henry nodded as uneasiness rose within him.

“She’s good, Dad. You know she and I aren’t ever going to happen. You and Rachel and Mom should all just give it up.”

“Is it because she’s black and Nigerian, son?”Jasper took another sip of his coffee.

“Geez Dad, I’m not racist.” Henry chuckled

“Then what exactly is the problem, son?” Jasper leaned to hear his son’s next words.

“Dad……uhm how do I start….”

“Son, listen.” Jasper interrupted his son, his voice lowered, and grew more serious. “Women like her don’t come around very often. She’s God-fearing, never been married, sweetest girl in the works and she’s single. You’ve been her friend for years, and that’s a very good start, but only a start.”

Henry smiled politely at his father’s words. “I know . . .”

A moment passed, then Jasper glanced away for a moment. His gaze came back to Henry. “What else is going on?”

Taking a sip of his coffee, Henry remembered his upcoming schedule ahead of him. His eyebrows furrowed. “We have a business meeting tonight at the church.”

“Oh, yeah?” His dad took a drink of his coffee. “You don’t seem too excited about that.”

“I’m not. I have a gut feeling Terry is going to be proposing more money going to that homeless camp in Campside Park across the street.”

“Son, there’s nothing wrong with that. We have to take care of people, all people.”

Henry shrugged. “I know, and we do. First Baptist already does so much for the poor. Believe me. Even that particular homeless camp, we’ve done a lot for it as it is right now. I just don’t feel we need to keep pouring money into helping those people when they want to be there in the first place. If we keep giving them stuff, they’ll never need to better their lives. Some tough love might be the best thing for them.”

Jasper went silent for a long moment. As he finally spoke, it was gentle. “Caring for the needs of the poor is Biblical, Son. There is no way around it, and you know that. It’s a good thing your church is doing with these people who are in need. That homeless situation at Campside Park is a growing issue, and the need grows with it.”

“Why do you think it’s growing, Dad? Maybe it has to do with the church across from them that’s feeding them daily and providing them with sleeping bags and money. You know what else is good? Using your own personal finances to do it, not the church’s money. You know what Terry did last week? He bought a BMW. Then tonight he’s going to come beg for more money to go into the homeless project. Something doesn’t seem right and I’m not going to pretend it does.”novelbin

Jasper didn’t reply at all this time. He only held a look of disappointment in his expression.

Sensing his father’s disappointment, Henry sighed and shook his head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that about Terry The guy just bugs me, and I don’t feel his heart is in the right place.”

With all seriousness of tone, Jasper asked, “Is your heart in the right place, Son?”

“Of course. I stand with God and wanting to be a good Christian of his resources given to the church.”

His father shrugged. “If that’s true, why did you apologize to me?”

“Because I was rude and it upset you.”

“But if you stand with God and your heart is right . . .”

“I don’t get what you’re saying, Dad.”

Jasper set his coffee to the side and scooted closer to the table. Folding his hands on the table, he peered directly into Henry’s eyes. Uncomfortable, Henry turned and looked away.

“Don’t look away from me, Son. Look at me. Don’t turn away from your father.”

Henry turned and looked with difficulty into his father’s eyes even though it was uncomfortable.

“You’re unhappy toward one of God’s appointed leaders. Sure, you might be sorry for what you just said about him, but that doesn’t change the heart issue going on inside you. Out of the lips comes what is in the heart.”

Henry carefully processed his father’s words, letting them filter through his mind and letting them trickle down into his heart. Jasper had been beyond what a typical dad was to a child throughout the years. Jasper had been Henry’s spiritual leader. Through his father’s instruction, he had been taught what it meant to be a true man of God. His sister, Rachel, was taught what it meant to be a woman of God from their mother. He had caught most of the teachings handed down by his father, but at his core, there was a disconnect to some degree.

Henry had always sensed a deep division in the depths of his soul but had assigned it all to the fact that Jasper and Priscilla weren’t his biological parents. Jasper had found him in a manger when he was but three years old on Christmas Eve. Swaddled in a blanket and incoherently unconscious, possibly from his mother drugging him,

Jasper took Henry home to be his son.

“Okay. I’ll think and pray about my heart in regard to Terry.”

Smiling, Jasper nodded and took a drink of his coffee. “Real men conduct their battles from their knees, not from their mouths. Don’t forget that, son.”

* *

That evening, Henry slipped into the sanctuary at First Baptist moments before the final song of worship ended. He found a seat near the back and set his Bible and coat down on the long bench. He joined in the singing of the last chorus and then took his seat in unison with the rest of the congregation. Terry took to the stage. Just seeing him up there warmed the fires of uneasiness within him. In his mind, he started to pick apart his wardrobe.

You can spend money on Under Armor clothing, buy a BMW, and walk around like you’re some spiritual guru, but when it comes to supporting the homeless, that’s all on the church? Give me a break, guy.

“How’s everyone doing tonight?” Terry surveyed the audience with a smile on his lips. “Lord’s good, isn’t He?”

Shouts of ‘Amen’ lifted from the congregation.

Pointing to the front row, he smiled as his gaze fell on a gray-haired woman. “This is Mary. She’s our guest of honor tonight. She comes from the camp across the street, and I want to tell you a little bit about her.”

Henry zoned out at the ceiling for a few minutes, then glanced around the sanctuary at other people to pass time as Terry went on and on about the woman. After he was finally done talking, he read the church announcements. Henry listened to the announcements, and then Terry asked everyone to bow their heads to pray over the offering.

“Lord, we come to You tonight as your children. We ask a special blessing over these tithes and offerings. May we give back a portion of what you’ve been so gracious to give us. It’s only through Your grace , mercy and goodness that we have anything at all. Let us worship You through this act of generosity. Amen.”

As Henry lifted his head from prayer, he felt agitation eating up his soul. Even the man’s prayers fanned the fire of Henry’s annoyance. Concealing behind every word from Terry’s lips was Henry’s blame and judgment. He didn’t like the way he felt toward Terry but didn’t feel as if he had any power over it. He felt the man was actively working his own worklist in the church and using God’s people and their financial resources to accomplish it.

Catching sight of the back of Noelle’s head a few rows up, Henry’s concern over Terry melted away. His heart warmed and suddenly, everything was fine inside him. She was his favorite person in the world and the only woman besides his mother and sister whom he had ever loved. Everyone wanted him to date Noelle but he didn’t want to confuse up the perfect friendship they had. Henry knew he’d be the luckiest man on earth if he ever married that girl, and maybe someday, that could happen, but until then, their friendship would have to do.

After the ushers finished collecting the offering, Pastor Jacob took to the stage.

“Take a moment, dear sisters and brothers and greet those around you. Then we’ll jump into the Word of God.” Before the pastor could even finish speaking, Henry was out of his seat and into Noelle's bench

“You come here often?” Noelle's question came as her brown eyes caught his gaze. The very next moment, she smiled that smile that lit up Henry's face and made everything else seem not important. Her dark skin matched her white set of teeth.

He laughed and said jokingly, “It’s my first time here, actually.”

They laughed and then embraced in a long hug.

“We are still on for dinner at Bips after this right?” Henry inquired, verifying their plans after church.

“Sure, I had my yogurt and granola before church to bat off the hunger to make it to a fast-food joint for dinner. I hope you know it’s all just for you. By the way . . . normal people eat at five or six o’clock, not nine.”

His lips curled into a smile. “What fun is normal? Plus, I barely left the office before heading here.”

She raised a playful eyebrow with a smile on her face and in her voice. “If you didn’t take naps at work, you would be able to get out of there at a decent hour.”

They both laughed.

Henry went on to greet other members of the church near Noelle, including his boss from work who was one of the elders in the church, Paul. After shaking hands, Henry returned to his seat near the back. His eyes still on her, he watched as she talked and laughed with Mary, the woman Terry had

introduced earlier. He loved Noelle's personality and the fact that every person who knew her loved to be around her. That was just her. She was dark yet so shiny. She glowed with some sort of spiritual aura that seemed to attract everyone to her. She was everything he wasn’t and everything he wanted to be. He knew he had a lot of head knowledge when it came to God, but she had something different. She had the heart knowledge.

Pastor Jacob spoke again at the pulpit in the front of the sanctuary. “I love to see you all playing and talking, but we’d better get started if you want to make it out of here on time.”

He prayed over the sermon and then asked everyone to turn in their Bibles to Judges, chapter eleven.

“Tonight, we’re going to talk about a man named Jephthah. He’s the perfect example of how God can take anyone, no matter their mistakes or where they are in life, and use them for His utmost purpose. Though I don’t match Jephthah’s beginnings, I have my own rocky past and start. Many of you know I lived the party and club life for many years before coming to Christ, and it wasn’t until late one night when a man found me passed out in an alley behind a bar that my life changed forever. That man was a Christian. I’m not talking about a ‘went to church on Sunday’ Christian, or a fire insurance Christian, but a real Christian. A Christ follower. He helped me get home that night, then he called me daily after that and even met with me weekly for the next six months. He taught me all about God, all about Jesus, and all about a thing called the Bible. He didn’t teach me religion. He taught me relationship. He sat and listened as I told him about my struggles, and that man prayed with me. His name was George . . .” Pastor Jacob paused for a moment. His voice became shaky and his eyes glossy. “Three days ago, he went home to be with the Lord.”

Pausing again, Pastor Jacob cleaned his eyes with a tissue, then he continued. “I’m getting side- tracked. The point is, George shared with me years later that a man whom he didn’t know had done a similar thing for him, which led him to Jesus too. I’m a pastor now, but my start was in an alley behind The Spark. You see, brothers and sisters, God can use us no matter where we are in life, no matter who we are. Now, let’s get into the Word. Judges eleven, starting in verse one.”

Jephthah the Gileadite was a mighty warrior. His father was Gilead; his mother was a prostitute.

Gilead’s wife also bore him sons, and when they were grown up, they drove Jephthah away.

“You are not going to get any inheritance in our family,” they said, “because you are the son of another woman.”

Judges 11:1-2

Henry became uneasy in his own skin as the Bible Scriptures hit him. He could feel the sharpness of the Word of God like it was an arrow tip scratching against his heart. He had known very little about his biological mother and father, but what he did know was that his mother was a prostitute, just like Jephthah’s mother. Earlier in his youth, as a young boy, Henry had vivid reoccurring nightmares that

terrorized him from the age of three until he was nine. Those nightmares ended, but they weren’t forgotten. They consisted of his mother and her having strange men come over to wherever they were living. The men would go with her into the bedroom for sometimes hours. Sometimes, the men were nice. Other times, not so nice. It was only through counseling that he learned those weren’t just nightmares but memories. The counselors told him how fragments of memory can sometimes remain in the subconscious. While the nightly occurring nightmares did stop, from time to time, they’d come back to visit and torture Henry.

Pastor Jacob surveyed the congregation as he paused his words. Henry took a few deep breaths and pushed all his thoughts away from him. He didn’t want to go to that dark place in his mind. He was far more comfortable anywhere but there.

He was relieved when the pastor finally spoke again.

“The Bible says Jephthah was a mighty warrior. Let me ask you something. How does a person go about gaining strength to be a mighty warrior like Jephthah? Or Samson? It takes training, right? For years now, I’ve been working on my diet and going to the gym, but it seems to be a constant work in progress for me. Usually, what happens is I become inspired to work out around May, and so I pack my little gym bag and go hit the weights, treadmill, and then of course, the shower. Sometimes, I do it once in a three-month period. Other times, I make it a few times a week for a month or two in a row. But . . . I haven’t managed to ever make it a persistent thing in my life. You know why?” He smiled as he rested his arm on the top of the pulpit. “Because those weights are so heavy.”

The congregation laughed.

He went quiet, then circled back behind the pulpit, stopping as he pressed a finger against the Scriptures. “The Bible doesn’t detail Jephthah’s training period, but I can say it’s safe to say he wasn’t sitting on the couch eating a package of chips and chicken and skipping the workout sessions regularly like I tend to do.” Another few laughs lifted from the congregation. Pastor Jacob's voice shifted to a more serious tone.

“You know, my father has always been a man who is physically fit and has worked out his entire life. It’s been a constant in his life since he was a young man. You see, my dad had a difficult childhood and a mostly difficult marriage too. Stress was always present in his life with five kids and a job that always left him with too much month at the end of the paycheck. I asked him once years ago how he would manage to stick with working out all his life. He told me it helped him deal with the pain and stress that life had brought to him. You see, for him, it was an outlet. Now when I look at this story about Jephthah, I see pain and hurt mixed in. Then I look at all that the Lord ends up accomplishing with this man and it makes me realize something. Our difficulties, though they are often painful and stress-causing, they shape us into who we are, and it’s that which God can and does use. James 1:1-4 tells us to consider these trials as pure happiness. Why? Because it’s a test of our faith and God is doing a work in us! I know it can seem difficult at times to see it, but what’s God say about those perceptions we have? He tells us to lean not on your own understanding, Proverbs 3:5.”

Annoyance crept into Henry's heart as his mother leaving him still fought for attention in his mind. There was no justification in the world for why she’d had to get rid of him, and it hurt to dwell on it. His mother was a scar on his heart that hadn’t healed. How could God ever use abandonment for a good purpose? The idea was absurd.

* * *

After Pastor Jacob ended the service, the business meeting took place fifteen minutes later. The delay allowed non-members to exit the sanctuary. Pastor Jacob went over the standard monthly budget items, his pay, the utilities costs, and all the ministry costs that were ongoing at the church. Seeing Terry on the edge of his seat in the front bench, waiting for his chance to talk, warmed the remains of anger in Henry.

"All right, and now for any new business?” Pastor Jacob opened the floor. Terry leapt to his feet and took to the front and to the microphone at the pulpit.

“Hi, everyone. As you know, we’ve been working hard and doing good things with the homeless community, especially across the street at Campside Park. Sadly, we’ve run out of money and need to keep it going. What I’d like to propose, if we can get a motion for it, is to make this project an ongoing ministry for First Baptist.”

“Absolutely not!” Henry blurted out. He had expected a request for more funds but not to make it a monthly ministry.

Terry went silent and everyone turned in their seats to look at Henry. His anger had shone through with not only his words but his tone. Heat filled his cheeks as he hadn’t meant to speak out of turn the way he had done. He had lost control. Up until this point, nobody even knew, besides Noelle how he really felt about the homeless project. He shot a quick glance toward Noelle. Her head was down, her eyes covered with a hand as if she was ashamed to call him a friend.

Breaking the silence, Terry positioned his mouth in front of the microphone. “ Do you care to illuminate us on why you think it shouldn’t be?”

Swallowing hard, Henry's entire body trembled. He stood up. Peering at the faces all around, he felt he had to speak the truth.

“I’m just worried that we are attracting more homeless to the park by giving away free food and free stuff. Honestly, I don’t see how this helps.”

Terry cleared his throat and raised his eyebrows. “Henry . . . we are sharing the love of Christ with them. Isn’t that what we are supposed to do?”

“Yes, tending to the needs of the poor is important, but so are a lot of things. For instance, the great commission, which is to spread the Gospel.”

“We are talking to the people at the camp, Henry. Do you think we’re only handing out free stuff?”

Pastor Jacob nodded and stood at the front pew and turned to the members of First Baptist. Raising his voice for everyone to hear, he spoke to all, but his eyes were on Chance. “We are sharing the gospel with people at the camp. Lives are changing. You all saw Mary this evening. She’s a big deal in that camp, and she’s doing great things for Jesus even when we are not there.”

“Okay. What about what is being forfeited because of this project? If we are giving money to these homeless people, it’s coming from somewhere else in the church. I think if people in the church want to keep supporting this project, they can do it out of their own personal pockets.”

Terry nodded and leaned into the microphone. “I absolutely agree with you, Henry. Many of us, including myself, have been supporting and footing the bill for the majority of the project along with the contributions that the church has made.”

Another loose-lip moment slipped from Henry. “But you still have a lot of money to buy a new BMW?” Henry laughed, shaking his head as he gave into how he felt inside. “You must be giving so much!”

Pastor Jacob shook his head and firmly said, “Enough!” He looked at Henry then at Terry.

“We will vote on this matter and then it will be settled.”

As the vote was motioned and the hands went up to carry it, Henry glanced over to see his boss, Paul, raising his hand along with Noelle. Infuriated, Henry grabbed his coat and Bible and stormed out of the sanctuary.